— I have a headache. I think I'm having an allergic reaction. — I didn't know you were allergic. What are you allergic to? — Me neither, but I feel odd. Is this a rash? — I don't think so. Are you

- We need to find another plumber. Ours must think we're either rich or silly, or both. - OK. - Why are you blinking like you have no idea what I'm talking about? - Eh? Can you see a thought bubble

Listening to Luca Lampariello speak Spanish, you think, “It’s true! It is possible for non-natives to sound 99.9% native-like!” But then the other half of your brain goes, “Well, duh — he’s a

— Close your eyes and open your mouth. — No way I'm doing that. — Okay. You’ll miss it. — What's in your hand? — Something you've never tried before. Want to try it? — No, thanks. — Aren't you

"I have some bad news: The subjunctive is dying." "Yaaaaaay!" "Really? What kind of people are you, cave dwellers? At least show some respect! The subjunctive has been with us for ages, and I'm

"Grandpa, what was that you taught me about the way the moon faces?" "Ah, yes—when the horns/tips of the moon point west, it's waxing, and when they point east, it's waning." The boy scratched his

The last time I saw her, she winked at me, sharing a knowing look and a smile that could melt ice. Now they say that she looks nothing like she used to. Her smile has turned into a strained grimace

— Anne! Why are there so many sticky notes around the house?? — You mean the yellow ones? — I mean all of them. Does the color matter? — Well, kinda. The yellow ones are phrasal verbs with the

I slept like a log today, but I woke up thinking about the figurative meanings of English verbs. I can’t really blame anyone for such a pesky obsession with getting the gist of this language—except

If you're good at lying, you're probably good at poker, too. Poker is a game where luck isn't the only thing that matters. Your ability to lie—not “to lie,” as in lying on a surface, though you do

Could you roll a giant ball of manure in a straight line, by walking backward on your hands over uneven ground at night? Sounds harder than a 30-day yoga challenge, if you ask me. Well, that’s

I went to the grocery store this morning to pick up a purple cauliflower. I had planned to have it delivered at first, but no one picked up the phone there. Right when I walked in, the owner spread a

– I think I really messed up this time. – What did you do now? – I wish I hadn’t gotten out of bed today. – Is it that bad? – Yes, if only I could change the past. – Are you sick? Don’t even think of

If you've never seen an octopus up close, you can't say you've seen it all. We're strange creatures, all right, but there's a lot more to us than our slippery appearance and our eight arms. Yes,

After August 15, we've long passed the equator of summer. You'll notice the days grow shorter and the sunlight shifts into a warm orangey yellow. It's the subtle awakening of fall. I can't wait to

Mundane topics like whitening tile grout in bathrooms and kitchens don’t attract much interest on a platform like this. But today, I confirmed —not without a certain amount of astonishment— that some

— I miss the sea. — That’s because it’s summer. — Maybe, but I really miss it. — We could go to the beach next Sunday, if you want. — Yeah, right. A summer Sunday at the beach? That’s exactly the

I used to have four dogs. One ran away one day and never came back, so now I have one fewer/less. I bought each dog a leash before it left, so I have an extra leash. I feel like something is off,

— Could you check my foot? — Sure, what's up? — I think I got a thorn stuck in it. — Okay, let me see. — Don't touch it. I'll show you where it is. — I can't see anything. Did you step on something

Hi regulars, I hadn't planned on writing today. You never know what will happen in the next minute of life. That's the magic of it. You think you're in control, but then —bam! — something you haven't