Better Days (II)
(A Short Story)
Part 1
Our guide, who's still leading us quietly, suddenly stops and stares into the distance. I try to follow his gaze, but there’s nothing but sand as far as the eye can see. As usual, his face shows no emotion whatsoever as he slowly crouches down and motions for us to do the same. Without hesitation, we all follow his lead. Nobody speaks for the next few minutes and the silence is almost overwhelming until we hear a strange noise in the distance.
What's that sound? An engine? All of us are on high alert, not just the guide and me. I’m ready to fight or flee. I just need a signal. The man next to me mimes a steering wheel in the air. A car? It doesn’t sound like the cars I once saw in Pyongyang as a kid. But he could be right. What else could it be?
I can feel the grid on my jacket tightening and how my annoying imp of a sister is now glued to my side closer than ever. What a burden! What is she even thinking? That I’ll be able to protect her? No way! It’s every man for himself! As if she could hear my thoughts, she extends her free hand and carefully places it directly on my much larger hand. For the first time in a while, our eyes meet. Her big, dark brown eyes, full of fear, stare into mine and my heart sinks into my stomach.
What kind of horrible person am I? I've been so focused on surviving since we left home that I've been blind to how dependent and defenseless she really is. How could she stand up to anything with such a dangerously emaciated body? I need to protect her. At least she has to experience some of “the better days”!
The engine noise is getting louder and louder. I break eye contact with my sister and stare back into the dark night until I finally spot something. There are some lights moving up and down the dunes really fast. It has to be some kind of vehicle and it looks like it’s heading towards us. The closer it gets, the more details I can make out. It’s not a car. The roof and doors are missing. Whatever it is, this thing stops about thirty meters away from us and a jolt goes through our guide.
He stands up again, but motions for us to stay where we are. It's incredibly hard to see anything in this darkness, but my eyes are glued to him more than ever. What’s he planning to do? Is he going to lead this person away from us? Or is he leaving us behind? It’s nothing like that. He's walking directly towards the vehicle and starts arguing with the driver. Are we safe?
The argument intensifies more and more, until our guide reaches into his pocket and hands something to the driver. The blood freezes in my veins as this unknown person abruptly turns in our direction and calls out my sister’s name.
I can feel her release her grip on my jacket. NO! I want to scream, hold her back or run away with her, but I can’t move. I can only watch the small back of her, which looks frighteningly fragile, walking towards the vehicle. Out of nowhere, I hear her little voice whispering, "Oppa (big brother), there will be better days!"
The End.
Well, what should I say after that. Lynn, it's wonderfully written (after all you're English, Writing and Story, right?). I just normally don't like such open-ended and sad stuff. I know, that's intended, and under that point of view it's a good story.
Yo Lynn, your English is incredible! How did you learn to write so naturally? Just through a lot of reading in English? This is the level I wanna reach with Spanish this year. I think you could easily turn this into a whole novel. It's super important to learn about the emotional turmoil of North Korean defectors and I think you capture that fear perfectly with your writing. Keep up the good work!
Such a well written story, I really enjoyed reading it. And you found the perfect point to end the story again :)
I'm rather old fashioned and like stories with happy endings. But I like your writing style und enjoyed reading it. And you're completly right, this is a story which is better suited with an open end.
I totally agree with the other commenters - your style of writing is awesome! I felt like I've been there. I was wondering if you constructed this story from different stories the refugees you're working with told you or if this is a story someone actually told you?
Thanks like always, Eduard. I really get some new names here on Journaly thanks to many different people. Sorry for the open end (again), but that’s just how Short Storys have to be. I promise: The next one isn’t going to end depressing, ok?
Yo Raul! Thanks for the help and of course the nice words! Like you I think this is an extremely important topic to talk and learn about. You’re probably right about the possibility of a whole novel because I had to delete A LOT of ideas and parts while writing this story. I’ve to admit: Until now I haven't read much in English... besides subtitles ;) All the best for your goals with Spanish! And thanks again!
Thank you, Caro! I wrote the last part over and over again. Glad you liked this one! :D
Thank you for reading and commenting, Cloudy! I think it’s absolutely fine to like happy endings more. I promise my next posts aren’t going to be like this again.
Thank you Linda! I really appreciate your help and feel flattered about the nice words. Please don’t feel bad for marking a whole sentence (like the one I had to delete). Not only is blue my favorite color ;), but I was completely unaware of the repetition! Actually, this story is heavily inspired by all the documentaries and interviews I saw on YouTube about North Korean defectors over the last month. I included just a tiny little detail from a story one of the students told me a while ago.
Lynn: You do get new names around here :D. But somehow all of them are fitting. Okay, deal, that'd be really great!
You think so? Well, I'm actually not mad about it too because until now the names are funny , nice or even really fitting.
Indeed.
Lynn, that was your best work yet. Everything is improved from when you started posting - the punctuation, the flow, the contractions - your English is reading more and more like an (educated) native speaker wrote it. Honestly, in most of this post, I couldn't tell the difference between you and a native. Excellent work and great story!
Oh my goodness. I don't even know how to answer that anymore. This is really too much of an honor, CocoPop. Thank you very much! And I would certainly not have improved so quickly without your help and patience. So please pat yourself on the shoulder once!
It's all you))) You should be very proud!
I just read the whole thing out loud - it reads beautifully! 🤩
CocoPop Nooo! Why're you doing this to me? I'm really not good at handling so much praise. What else can I say besides: Thank you! (again and again and again)
You're welcome! (infinitely!)
Lynn, your stories are incredible. I love the way that the tension builds throughout and your use of descriptive language is wonderful. Thank you.
@scamp: Thank you for the nice words scamp! I'm glad you enjoyed reading the story :)