A while ago, I was unwittingly dragged into what turned into a full-on debate in the comment section of a YouTube video. And no, I'm not crazy enough to comment on a pandemic-related video. I was just watching a video in my target language where a German guy, fluent in this language, appeared. As a German learning Korean, I was amazed at his proficiency and how funny and outgoing he was compared to the typical German guests on Korean TV or other online shows. I rewatched the video a few times, wrote down some of the phrases I thought might come in handy in the future and left a short comment to thank him for his nice (and kind of novel way) of representing Germans.
I really didn't think anyone would notice it. Boy, was I wrong. When I last checked it, it was upvoted over three thousand times and had over 35 replies.
At first, there wasn't really any debate - just an exchanging of opinions with some other commenters about “typical German behaviour and what our opinions might be based on” in a humorous and friendly tone. But after some time, someone decided to throw in a, for me, extremely sensitive topic which caught me by surprise and instantly made my blood boil.
To explain why this is worth a whole Journaly post: I thought this whole situation (having some stranger's comment instantly set me off) has only rarely ever happened to me. So I figured why not investigate... myself?
While pondering this issue, I started asking some friends and family members if they had ever noticed me reacting this way to any topics in the past. In so doing, I've discovered and compiled more and more of them over the past few days. To be honest, I wasn't expecting there to be so many! But it helped me realize that there's (a distinct) pattern. Most of them are based on common misconceptions and myths I'm regularly confronted with. In order to not overwhelm myself - or the readers of this post - I decided to classify and separate them into different topics. Nevertheless, I'm sure I’ll start to rant, so please let me apologize beforehand. I'm sorry!
Part one: Psychology
As an introverted person myself, let me start with this: Being an introvert means another way of gaining and losing energy like an extrovert. It's just that simple, isn't it?
Introverts need to spend time alone, preferably in a familiar environment to “recharge” because interacting with people and being confronted with new things drains our energy, whereas extroverts draw energy from their interactions with people and get bored more easily during the times they're alone.
I really can't stand the typical portrayal of introverts and the almost pitiful reaction some people have when someone mentions that they're an introvert. We are not anti-social and it does not automatically mean we're all shy or insecure. And please don't worry at the introverted people around you. If we decide to spend time alone, we are not angry, depressed or mad at something, we're simply processing the most recent series of events and recharging for the next batch. By the way, we also do not hate talking. We just do not enjoy small talk, talking to strangers or unexpectedly having to talk in front of many people. We like to think about what so we can make sure we say exactly what we mean, and not start rambling.
A short but important note: Psychologists and therapists are not the same.
A myth I want to clarify: There are not a lot more male persons on the Autism spectrum. Sadly enough, for a long time, professionals and researchers didn't realize that females exhibit other symptoms and even hide their symptoms, so they (just) weren’t diagnosed.
And another one: Waking a sleepwalker up does not harm the person. On the contrary. It's way more dangerous to let them wander around oblivious to everything.
Mental illnesses are real. They are as real as other illnesses. Even if they aren't visible to other people, they have an serious influence on the life of the affected person.
And while we're on this subject, talking about mental health is extremely important, but it's never ok to do it in an inappropriate manner. To put it simply - it's not funny.
It's also not ok for anybody to diagnose anything related to someone's mental health if that person is not a trained professional in this field, like this woman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRoxCqCd77E .
Emotions and mental illnesses are not the same! Being sad is not a depression! Being scared of something is not a phobia! And ... Ok.
I'll leave it here for today before I end up throwing my laptop across the room. For everyone who made it to the end, congratulations! In my eyes, you are a brave person to read through someone else's (first) rant post. And if you left some corrections along the way, you're offically my hero! Feel free to share your knowledge about any myths and misconceptions you're aware of and are also sick of hearing.
Somehow the tone of your text (at least how I read it) reminds me of this (German) video I simply love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlujZjmeC7Q. OK, now seriously: This is a great text! For my own taste I find it a bit too short on some issues (this just means I am curious about what you mean exactly about some things), but that's just me. And knowing how hard it is to write already such a long post, congratulations! I am really curious about what you have in mind for next...
I really liked reading your post!
title: The Things that Drive Me Nuts
Great job! Your English is excellent. As a fellow introvert, I can relate to a lot of what you wrote.
Lynn, that was very interesting and it's always refreshing (and therapeutic for you, I suppose) to share such a personal part of yourself with others and let your frustrations out. I have to say, as excellent as your English is, I was disappointed to see so many full forms among such otherwise natural and "conversational" language, but I know some habits are hard to break. Having said that, I DID notice the contractions you DID use 👍🏼😉. Please let me know if you have any questions about my corrections. Some of them are admittedly "invasive" and replace big strings of words; this is in an effort to move you away from anything that sounds more German than English in its syntax. Your expression should be purely English when you write. Brilliant work!
PS: In my comment, I've capped some words because there's no italics available, but in your texts, the words you capped should be italicized. Capping is the equivalent of yelling in writing, and it makes your tone sound a bit hysterical.
Hi Lynn, thanks for writing. For many of these posts, I found myself wanting to highlight and comment "YES" to them. I'll write a post with a recommendation for a book in a moment that this reminded me of. A couple thoughts: I'm a proud introvert and some of my students and colleagues don't believe me because I am energetic and outspoken in class and also in meetings (i.e. they carry the same misconception that introvert means shy). It also frustrates and saddens me to see ways that I see many people treating mental illnesses very differently from how they treat physical illnesses; that is a whole book worth of stuff to talk about though.
@Eduard: Hi Edurard :D You always find new ways to impress me. Looking at the time of your comments and corrections you must have been reading this post immediately after I uploaded it!? Thanks for everything! I think it will take me some time to go through all (130 xD) of them but I will make sure to come back to you later and try to clear the things (up?) you are curious about. To be honest, this is one of the shortest texts I have ever written. I was eager to upload something before I had to go to one of my part time jobs, so I could use the weekend to correct it. (BTW I love the cups!)
@CloudyDe Thank you Cloudy! I feel kind of honored you read my text because your post about “how to use commas” is quite famous here on Journaly. Linda even mentioned it in one of her corrections on this post again. And after receiving so many corrections about commas (again!) I think I should definitely go and read it.
@Wendy Thank you Wendy! I guess Journaly is a really good place to find a lot of fellow introverts.
@CocoPop: Be as “invasive” in my texts as you want CocoPop! I don't mind it at all. On the contrary! Even if I obviously struggle to remember and include all of your tips and corrections in the new texts(,?) I am glad you take your time to help me out everytime. And I have already learned so much from you I really don't know how to thank you anymore. // Actually I really do have a question this time: Could you explain what you mean by “full forms”? I think I already asked another commentator in an older post of mine, who also mentioned it, but I never received an answer, so I don't know what to change. // BTW It's kind of funny for me that you feel like I shared a personal part of myself in this post because the only part that really relates to me is the part about introverts. The other misconceptions and myths are more related to people I care about or people at my different workplaces. // P.S. CocoPop You really cracked me up with the explanation about the tone I accidentally gave the post. Imagining me yelling this whole post in a hysterical way must have been one of the funniest things I experienced here on Journaly!
Hi Lynn, I really liked your text and can totally relate to the feeling you described (as you might have noticed in my comment). I have a whole range of topics where I know that I might potentially get mad and you included many of them.However, most of the time I won't change anything by getting into a fight with a stranger on the internet. That said, there are places where I just stay away from, for example the comment section on social media.
Thank you DJ! Not only for reading and commenting, but also for sharing your recommendation and experiences. It's good to know that there are other proud introverts speaking up against the whildly spread misconception about us being shy and stopping people using those terms as synonyms.
I know exactly what you mean. There have been times where I (sadly enough especially while working in the classes for refugees) got so sad and frustrated about how some people tend to treat the students because they still carry misconceptions about mental health. I really hope this topic will get more attention in the future and people stop acting like it's some kind of “Voldemort”.
@Lynn: Full forms are, for example, I AM, as opposed to contractions, like I'M.
@Lynn: I'm flattered. But if you make comma errors you're in good company (for example myself). Knowing the rules and being able to apply them seem to be two quite different things.
Hi Lynn,
I've just re-read your text and I must say that it is a very good text although you were ranting, but it might also be because you were ranting.
Thank you very much, Linda! I still don't like this post very much, but it's a good reminder to be careful while writing comments on YT. I guess you came back because of the guessing game? :D At least that's how I re-visited some of your texts as well. Unfortunately I can't see a lot of your German or English texts :( I make sure I'll read them all once I get my premium membership :) Hope you have a good weekend and I'm sure we will see/read us here in the little Journaly-world again soon!