これは以前の投稿の続きです。前に第一章を読んでください!
This is a continuation of a previous post. Please read the first one first!
毎日毎日、看護師に立たされ少しフレームで歩かされた。点滴セットを後ろに引っ張り、あったかいカテーテルの袋が腰にかかっていた。週間くらいが経って、先生はまたホテルに移すことを確認した。
Every day, the nurses would force me to stand up and walk a little with a frame. I would drag the IV stand behind me, the catheter bag warm at my hip. A week or so passed, and they were sure I was well enough to be moved back to the hotel.
カテーテルが抜き出してホテルにいた私は週間を過ごしてボロボロと泣くしかしなかった。今回丸くになることができた。当時でも歩くのはまだ難しいけれど、フレームにぎりぎり手を伸ばして、トイレまで達するほど自分を腕で支えられた。少しずつ自給自足になっていきはじめた。
Back at the hotel with the catheter removed, I spent a week doing nothing but crying my eyes out. This time, I was able to curl up. I could still barely walk, but I could just about reach the frame and support myself enough to reach the toilet. I started to feel a little more independent.
ある日急に心の中にある何かが壊れた。自分をベッドからよろめいて立たせた。足が全然支えられなかったけれども、部屋の外の廊下で歩き始めた。フレームを使わないでいけなかったことは上体が強くないから大変だった。短い分間しかを歩けなかった。帰れないようになる可能性を心配していたのでビルの外に、別の階にさえ歩くのを冒さなかった。数日後、フレームなしで歩けるようになって、他の階で歩き始める自信になった。やっと、景色替え!
One day, suddenly, something within me snapped. I forced myself, stumbling, out of bed. Even though I couldn't put any weight on my leg, I started walking up and down the corridor outside my hotel room. I had to use the frame to support myself and because I don't have a lot of upper body strength, it was hard going. I could only walk for a few minutes at a time. I didn't dare go outside, or even to a different floor, in case I couldn't make it back. After several days, I was able to move without the frame, and started feeling confident enough to be able to walk on the other floors. At long last, a change of scenery!
ホテルの一階には娯楽室があった。そのなかにはビリヤードテーブルがあった。小さい頃ビリヤードでよく遊んだけど15年ぶりだった。「ま、暇しかねぇね」と思った。
On the ground floor of the hotel, there was a recreation room. Inside, there was a pool table. I used to play pool when I was younger, but I hadn't played in about 15 years. Well, I thought, I've got nothing but time right now.
そして、永遠に廊下で歩く代わりに毎日自分とビリヤードのお試合をしはじめた。もちろん毎回勝った、といっても毎回負けたこともあったね。トリックショットの手段を思い出してきた。たとえばキューを背中のうしろで持つ、左側で(私は左利きだから)ショットに役に立つテクニックよ。
So instead of endlessly walking up and down the corridors, I started playing pool against myself every day. I won every time of course, but I guess that means I also lost every time, too. I remembered how to do the trick shots, like holding the cue behind your back, which is a useful technique for making a shot on the left side (I'm left handed).
ある日、私がトリックショットをするのを見た誰かが娯楽室の窓の向こうに立っており、ゲームの全部を観察した。観客を引くのは好きじゃないけれどそのときは気持ちよかった。ますます立てるようになるためビリヤードのキューを杖として使った。
One day, somebody saw me do a trick shot and stood at the window and watched me play the whole game. I don't like having an audience, but it felt good in that moment. I used the cue as a walking stick to help me stay standing for longer and longer.
病院に診察の時間が来た。看護師は私の部屋に車椅子で来たけど、私はドアに立っていた。看護師の驚きの顔つきを今でも覚えているよ。以前の毎回、病院とホテルの間を転がさられたけど、今回短い距離を歩こうと決めた。2ヶ月くらいから初めて外にいることだった。やっと生きていると感じた。
It was time to go for a checkup at the hospital. The nurse came to my room with a wheelchair, but I stood at the door. I still remember the look of surprise on his face. I had been wheeled between the hospital and hotel the past few times, but this time I chose to walk the short distance. It was my first time outside in nearly 2 months. I finally felt alive.
私はヒーローじゃない。ただの凡人よ。でもその歩けなくても歩く決まり⋯誰もの中には従えなければならない何とか本能がある。超能力は必要じゃなく、決めるのは十分。「ビリヤードが人生を助けた」みたいなタイトルはもちろんジョークだけど、その瞬間は本当に一か八かだった。それは自分のヒーローになったとき。
I'm not a hero. I'm a nobody. But that choice I made, to walk when I couldn't... There's something inside of everyone, some kind of instinct that must be followed. You don't have to have superpowers, you just have to make a choice. A title like How Pool Saved My Life is of course a joke, but that really was a make or break moment. That was the time I became my own hero.
いいお話👏 私もちゃんと決めよう、そして決めたことをやろうと元気が出ました!
I love how the little things can take on such meaning. Like every time you see a pool table now I bet you feel quite nostalgic and proud. But yeah, it's not a superpower, but it feels like it right.
Sounds like you're speaking from experience. Honestly, I've forgotten how to feel a lot of emotions, and I haven't seen a pool table since that time. I'd love to play it again someday though!