Imagine Zee who has been paralyzed for 31 years. Then, a miracle happens and now, she can walk. She stumbles and stands again. After a few steps, she gets tired and looks for a seat to take a breath. But right after, she keeps walking. Still after five years of walking, she walks so slowly. She has days when she feels it's too much for her. Her mind tells her to give up walking and go back to this comfortable wheelchair. She knows it's depression that makes her see things gloomy and pushes her to surrender. She tries over and over again. Nevertheless, on some days, it gets too difficult for her, especially as she has no one by her side.

Everybody sees how slowly she walks but nobody knows the struggle behind her slow walk. Some astonishingly raise their eyebrows and others feel pity that at her age, she still can't walk properly and fast.

One day, someone applauds that she can finally walk. They say: "Now, you can do anything, you can even race." They pushed her to the start line and asked her to run; without enough training or preparation.

The competitors around her have been racing their whole lives. She just started walking a while ago! The racers are trained and know how to run steadily without getting out of breath. She hardly keeps breathing in and out while walking. Zee looked around and said, "I'm doomed".

Zee is me. I released myself from my cage quite late. The things I'm learning now, people learn at a very young age. In my thirties, I'm riding a bike. I'm trying to learn how to swim. However, I often panic in these situations. People don't understand why I panic! Why I freeze!

It is totally unfair to expect someone who has difficult circumstances to be as skillful as others who haven't been through the same difficulties. Ignoring what happened is a mistake that shouldn't be overstepped. Maybe others had difficulties as well but they managed to overcome them with resilience.

Some dare to say I'll never be able to be good at doing something or to learn another thing because of these fears. In their opinions, these fears trap me. They are wrong. As I escaped my prison and rode a bike, I can beat my fears and learn anything I want. I will take much longer time than others. That's fine. I'll keep learning at my own pace, not others' pace.

One day, I'll control my fears and panics. One day, I will swim on my own, without a diving suit or a snorkeling mask. I will drive a car. I will try kitesurfing.