This post started off as a comment to @Coral's post, but it turned out to be too long for the comment section.

Grammar is like fashion.

Most people dress (and write) in such a way as not to look weird. If your goal is not to look weird, you have to dress (and write) the way people expect you to. It changes with time, although more slowly for grammar and orthography than for fashion. Old books are full of weird spelling, just like old closets and old photos are full of bowler hats and frocks. They're cute, but you don't put them on in 2025 to go grocery shopping.

The academics from RAE try to keep up with these changes and let people know what other people are up to. Or so I hope (I don't speak Spanish). Good for them!

I've always treated grammar style guides as fashion magazines telling me what's popular this season, and with the same level of reverence, too. It's good to know that "oversized jackets have experienced a resurgence in popularity," I guess. If, God forbid, I'm ever back on the dating market or the job market, it won't hurt to pay some more attention to what's what in that department. In the meanwhile, I have my old windbreaker, which they'll have to pull off my cold, dead body.

In a similar vein, I ignore some punctuation rules, both in English and in my native Russian, when I use instant messaging apps. In text messages, I never capitalize words (except "I" in English) and I use fewer commas and other punctuation marks than I do in emails. I do it deliberately—I want a distinction between an email and a text. And I subconsciously expect it from others. In a text message you can't be too polite—it would be rude. I'm waiting for your answer; why are you spending so much time on commas and capitals? Oh, you're using voice input; never mind. And some people take it too far and shorten "you" to "u". The gall! I hate when people do that. Why are they saving all these keystrokes? What do they do with all the keystrokes they saved?

We need different grammar rules for different media. We had them before as "telegraph style" and "headline grammar," which have creative value in and of themselves. We need "text message grammar," and "blog orthography," and "forum post syntax." We do need the analog of "put something nice on," but for writing. It has to be different for each medium, the same as "backyard party at Derek's from work nice" and "job interview nice" are different things. And it does have to look weird when you mix them up.

It can't and won't come from the academics, though. It has to evolve naturally. It would have, if not for the constant advances in technology that don't let us converge on it. Pen to keyboard to T9 to touch keyboard to Swype to autocompletion to voice input, all in less than thirty years. And, on the other hand, it's been a whole thirty years. It's evolving slowly enough for us to get used to it enough to want some standards, but too fast for these standards to emerge.

It's not happening, though, until we make it happen. It always starts with little things, friends-and-family jokes even: a text smiley here, a lack of a comma there, a shortened "u" (ew!)

It's irreverent, but nothing big.

Until it is.