A duck walks into a bar and orders a combo plate. When a customer hears him, he says, "This is incredible! A talking duck!"

"So what?" asks the duck. "You can talk too."

"That's true," says the customer. "But how come you came to this bar?"

The duck replies, "I'm a bricklayer. I've been working across the street for a few days."

When the duck finishes his meal, he pays, but before he walks out the door, the customer goes up to him and says, "Wait! I'm a circus owner. Would you like to work for me?"

And the duck replies, "Why in the world would a circus need a bricklayer?"

A little butterfly tells her mother, "Mom, I think I'm in love."

The mother asks in surprise, "How do you know?"

"Because I feel like I have hundreds of little people in my stomach."

Two sisters are walking in a park, playing with flowers, when one asks, "What animal goes 'zzub, zzub'?"

"I don't know," the other sister answers.

"A bee flying backwards."

There was an oh-so-educated fly that only fell into alphabet soup.

A young boy studies dinosaurs in school and asks his father, "Dad, what would happen if we crossed a dinosaur and a pig?"

The father replies, "Well, you would get a jurassic pork."

Some of the jokes I've told so far are terrible, but they're such a useful tool for practicing conversation. They're always packed with colloquialisms, interjections, idioms, and other phrases you won't find in academic writing like articles, essays or narratives.