The Gang Corporation, a renowned think tank, held an emergency meeting with the most reputable environmental experts to find a definitive solution to climate change, given the sudden increase in carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere. Its leader began the session by tapping the microphone.

“Tap, tap, tap. Hello, hello. Eenie meenie miney moe. Can you hear me?” A few people nodded, and he continued. “Well, folks, you know the drill: greenhouse gas emissions are covering the Earth, trapping the sun's heat. Hence, global warming and climate change. The world is warming faster than at any time in recorded history, and we're here for a Hail Mary pass. The Earth depends entirely on us. We’ve talked about this a lot before, but for those of you who still think this isn’t freaking serious, here’s a loaf of bread I baked myself in my mailbox this morning.”

“Oooooh!” exclaimed the group, astounded.

“So today, no one is leaving this room until I say so.” As he spoke, his voice grew louder and more commanding. “Is that clear? In front of you, you’ll find a brief dossier. Open it to page 1,364. You, yes, the one in the baseball cap, read it aloud.”

The man stood up and said sheepishly, “Uh, sorry, I left my glasses at home. I can’t see a thing.”

The leader rolled his eyes and scanned the room for someone else. Another scientist eagerly raised his hand.

“Okay, fine. You’ll do,” the leader said in a dismissive tone.

The enthusiastic scientist stood up and began reading. “Title: ‘The Cows in My Town’. In my town, there are cows everywhere, and the mayor says we need to get rid of them because their farts produce so much methane that pollutes the air. However, the vet suggests reducing meat production as a solution. It's not about becoming vegans, but about cutting down on meatballs and—”

“Cut, cut, cut,” the leader interrupted. “I think we all get the point. The situation is clear: thousands of liters of water, tons of fertilizer, a fortune spent on fuel for transportation, and, to top it off, mountains of plastic containers ending up in the trash. We have no choice — the cows have to be sacrificed.”

“Yes! Absolutely!” said one participant.

“Totally agree!” shouted another.

“What a cool idea!” chimed in the guy in the baseball cap, turning it backwards for emphasis.

“So enough blaming cows already!” the leader said.

“Wait. But what are we going to do with all that meat?” asked the enthusiastic environmentalist.

“Reduce our foodprint, obviously,” he replied.

“I don’t get it. Can you explain exactly how we’re doing that?”

“Sure thing. I could explain in detail, but it all boils down to one thing: eating it.”

“Yes!!!” they all shouted in unison.

“All right, listen up! Next Sunday, we’re hosting a BBQ! Everyone’s invited! But remember, no plastic cups —I want us to stay consistent. See you all next Sunday! Let’s call it a day!”

* Artwork created by me with AI-generated images.