"Where are you going with that carton of eggs? Is it Easter or something?"

"I'm bringing the car all the way up to the front door."

"Is it a surprise? Where are we going?"

"Nowhere. I'm going to show you what climate change looks like, big head."

"Oh no, don't start again! I had enough of that last summer."

"Really? Then why do you keep saying climate change is a hoax?"

"I didn't say exactly that."

"No? Then what exactly did you say? Enlighten me."

"You want me to explain the whole shebang right now? I'm watching something!"

"Sports again? The planet's burning and all you think about is sitting around on the couch."

"What makes you think that? I might be watching a David Attenborough documentary. Wouldn't that count?"

"Maybe for your conscience. Mine is telling me that something has to be done now, or else..."

"You mean something like frying eggs on the roof of the car? What's that supposed to prove?"

"A lot. Last summer I baked a loaf of bread in the mailbox. Does that sound normal to you?"

"Of course not. But then again, you never do anything normal."

"Fine. Want some breakfast? I'll be in the car. And grab the salt shaker before you come out. You always complain your eggs are bland."

"I'll be there in a minute. Just let me finish watching this."

“Right. Attenborough, the guy who makes penguin documentaries/ who shoots penguins. I'm sure he's about to score a goal any minute now.”

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