"Priest: My condolences, Mr. Herbert. Be kind on yourself. Death is the beginning of a happier life in the sky, next to the good and saints. And your brother is happier than you now.
Herbert: Do you believe in the sky, happiness and saints, Father?
Priest: Of course, and I believe that melancholy results in losing your faith and trust in the sky.
Herbert: I’ve no faith to lose. No faith. No trust in the sky. No happiness. Only melancholy exists. Pardon me, Father, I’m messing up with your job that you count on. But believe me, here (pointing at his heart) there’s nothing. Nothing."
That was a dialogue from the first episode of "Westerner Abdel Kader or Al-Khawaja Abdel Kader" which was broadcasted during Ramadan 2012, featuring the Egyptian actor Yehia El-Fakharany and the Syrian actress Sulafa Me'mar.
It's about Herbert, a British disbeliever who's depressed and desperate to die. At work, he gets transferred to Sudan, where he goes through a spiritual experience that heals him. And, he converts to Islam, a typical cliche in a Muslim-majority country like Egypt. He changes his name to Abdel Kader. In Arab countries, Khawaja is used to call those Western people. So people call him Al-Khawaja Abdel Kader. Herbert, or Abdel Kader, moves to Egypt where he meets with Zeinab ــ an Egyptian woman from a conservative family that disagrees with their will to marry each other.
During the Corona time, I used to exchange virtual letters with an Egyptian pen pal who was a big fan of Yehia El-Fakharany. He used to talk at length about him and his works, especially that series. At that time, I got really curious about it but never started watching it. Yesterday, I watched the first episode, and I enjoyed it.
As I'm depressed, I'm eager to see what will help Herbert heal. I don't expect a lot from him converting to Islam. I'm already a believer. I don't need to convert to anything. Maybe I just need to trust and make up with Allah again.
Is the picture of Allah in Islam one you want to get to know better?
I want to know Allah, not a picture of him.
Can you know the unknowable? When we respond to anyone we have a picture, an image or description of who they are... especially if we haven't seen them in the flesh... The picture I refered to is how Islam describes God.
I wouldn't try to know the unknowable. That sounds so ambiguous to me.
I'm not very keen on how Islam or other religions describe God. I closely saw how Christians, Buddhists, and Muslims describe and worship God. I want to describe and know God the way I feel it.
God is not it for me but him, a person that I can slowly get to know... but I find, personally, that what has been written by others is also very helpful, well the Bible. My feelings go up and down in a crazy yoyo.