It's been three months since I broke up with my ex. You'd think it would get easier day by day, but on the contrary, it's getting more and more difficult. It was my decision, but it doesn't make anything easier. You question yourself about your decision and you think about what you could have done in order to save the relationship. I couldn't think of any other realistic solution for our issues, but was there really no other way? Were their negative traits really that bad?
You think about whether you should write to your ex and break your no-contact. You think about who you lost - the past you lived together, their hard work, and their positive qualities. You think about what you lost - her, her family, her niece and nephews, her grandma, her parents. You mourn a future that is never going to happen. You just don't want to live a future where you're not gonna go old with this person, and live a life together.
Maybe it was a bad decision.
A picture of us is still in my wallet. I still can't bring myself to take it out.
Headline image by aronvisuals on Unsplash
Hey Norbert,
I don't know what to say to you! I wanted to talk about my experience and how what you wrote resonated with mine (but the other way around) but I don't think I should talk about myself here. I just hope you'll find the best path for you!
Dude, maybe you've had enough time to realize that you don't want to be broken up and should start talking about a reconciliation. Maybe she feels the same way you do and is ready to get back together. It's as easy as I know we have a no-contact rule, but I've been thinking... People change their minds all the time, and a lot of great love stories had breakups at some point. It doesn't sound like you're moving on, and maybe she isn't either. Have you ever heard the song The Way We Were by Barbra Streisand. Find the lyrics and listen carefully to the song and the words; they're beautiful, yet haunting and gut-wrenching, and may be just what you need to put things into perspective and make a move.
@Double-Zee Why shouldn't you? I'm all ears - or eyes on Journaly. haha. Thank you for the good wish!
@CocoPop - I appreciate you looking out for me, and I’ll give Barbra a listen
Maybe you’re just tired of my BS and are trying to find the quickest way to get me to stop moping! hahaha
But in all seriousness, while great love stories have breakups, they also have solutions to the problems that caused the split. Right now, I still don't see those solutions.
More importantly, I'm still in my grieving period. I can only make life-altering decisions when I'm in a clean headspace, and right now, the fog hasn't cleared yet.
That's true. I guess three months isn't that long in the scheme of things. And I'm not tired of hearing you. I think it's healthy for you to vent on here and I'm happy to give my two cents. I think you're being very intelligent about all this.