I like holding hands with my boyfriend when we're watching movies. But there's a thing that disturbs me a little. Have you noticed that holding hands can work a bit like a lie detector? A lie detector is a machine sometimes used in court (though it's generally not accepted as evidence) that helps determine when a person is experiencing a heightened emotional response while answering a question. It works by detecting changes in blood pressure, pulse, respiration, and electrical conductivity of the skin. So when you're watching a movie, especially a dramatic one, you also react emotionally to what’s happening on screen. Those small reactions can be perceived by the other person as subtle tics and trembles in your hand. So I'm not entirely comfortable with this; I don't necessarily want the other person to know which images touched me deeply, and I usually try to control these impulses. This conscious effort makes me more tense.

However, about a month ago, when we went to the cinema to watch a dramatic movie about childhood trauma, as I was trying to control my reflexes as usual, I realized something. We've known each other for a few years, and we've lived together for a year now. During this time, he's had the opportunity to learn more things about me than I would like. He's seen many of my weaknesses that I'd prefer to hide. Yet he's never used any of this knowledge against me. Quite the opposite: He's the one who protects me from my self-loathing and who always finds a charitable interpretation of my shortcomings.

So when I realized this in the cinema, I relaxed and stopped trying to control what I'm involuntarily conveying through the micro-movements of my hand. I didn't need to hide my emotions from him; I could trust him. I also realized one more thing: This behaviour was so deeply ingrained in me, because I've never felt this comfortable with other people before. Could he be the right person?