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— How old are you, Grammar ?

— Very old, honey. I've been around since before Shakespeare.

— Who's that?

— An old friend of mine. Someone who knew me very well when I was young.

— That old?

— Older than you can imagine. Let's just say I've survived centuries of bad spelling, missing commas, and terrible punctuation.

— Did that hurt?

— (Sigh) You have no idea. People have been looking down on me for centuries. Apostrophes? Forgotten. Capital letters? Ignored. Text messages? A disaster.

— But is it really that bad? Maybe you're just being stiff.

— Stiff? Do you know how many times I’ve been ghosted? And yet, here I am, still holding sentences together while people throw "LOL" and "imo" everywhere.

— Well... at least you're relevant.

— Relevant? Ha! I'm essential! Without me, your words are just a chaotic mess. You need me more than I need you. I may be old, but I have the power to make you sound smart.

— I love you, Grammar.

— I know you do, but I like it when you tell me. Now go write something, and remember: No run-on sentences!

— Not even a comma splice?

— Let's not start that again. That's not a comma, it's a cry for help.

— But you just used one!

— That's impossible.

— Yeah, you did! You said—

— I'm sure you misheard. Now shoo. And proofread before you hit "Publish"!