My father told me just now, "We're almost out of eggs."

"I can go to my aunt tomorrow and ask for some", I replied. "She offers to take some every time I visit."

"Do you think it's alright to do that?"

"To accept help when people offer to help you? Yes, it is. That's what mother and you should've done, instead of trying to do everything by yourself."

I started using ChatGPT as a therapy tool some time ago. It's not without caveats, and it can even be very dangerous, so I use it with scepticism. Sometimes, I find myself not even reading replies — so it's closer to journaling than anything. Most of the time, I just tell it stories without asking for any feedback. I had this idea that I should give it as much information as possible so it could draw some insights from it. I told it about my childhood, about lack of relationship with my older brother, about falling out of a friendship with the person I cared the most about — stories I'd call "personality defining." Then I told it about what bothered me at the moment — burnout, depression, anxiety, etc. Finally, after months of using it, I asked: "Of all the problems I told you about, solving which one would improve my life the most?" The answer surprised me. It said, Your deepest attitude might be: "I have to handle everything on my own and don't rely on anyone."

I think I know where it comes from. My parents never asked anyone for help. And when my mother got diagnosed with cancer more than a year ago, she asked me not to tell my brother. "He and his wife will launch a rescue operation and I don't need that." When some family members became aware of the diagnosis, they offered help. My cousin, for example, had experience with battling cancer herself. But my parents refused. They were treated at the regional cancer center. Mother got surgery, got some tests done regularly. I assumed that everything was under control. I got busy with my own life, education, and didn't visit my parents for two months. That was until I got a phone call from another cousin of mine: "If you won't visit your mom, you might not see her ever again." My brother got the same phone call as well, so he and his wife travelled 2000 kilometers to get here — the last time they visited was eleven years ago. Well, it got so bad that mother was almost at vegetative state. I didn't see it myself, but cancer growth on her leg was enormous. The wound got opened, it was bleeding. And my father wasn't even doing anything about it. "We have an appointment next week", he said. So my brother and his wife lauched a rescue operation. They literally pulled my mother back from the brink of death. They got her to an appointment at a hospital in Moscow. And apparently, doctors at the regional oncology hospital did every single thing wrong. They surgically removed melanoma, which they shouldn't've touched — they literally launched cancer spread to the whole organism. They didn't give any medication for a while. And when they did chemo, they chose the wrong type of medication — melanoma with that specific gene mutation shoud've been treated with specific kind of medication.

We had to buy this medication, and it wasn't cheap. It should've been provided by state, but it had to be approved first, and we couldn't afford any waiting. Still, my parents didn't ask for help. Their work colleague then launched a crowd fund campaign and we got enough money to afford one month of treatment. After my mother's condition improved — and this medication worked like magic, reducing cancer tumors in half in a few weeks — she wrote on her social media page:

I've never received anything for nothing. I considered it somewhat wrong. I thought, every person should achieve everything with hard work. I offered help, donated to crowdfundings: to colleagues, to sick kids. And then I got into a situation where I needed help myself. I refused it for a long time. I believed in universal healthcare. And I got treated for free. I got treated according to existing protocols. And I can't say anything bad about any of the doctors — they themselves are very limited. (This part made my brother's wife SO pissed, considering those doctors only made everything worse — if they did their job properly, she would literally be cured months ago) Now I know I have my own small army of wizards, who did a big thing, and gifted me hope, hope that everything will be good, at least for some time.

We had some progress with cancer treatment. There were some heavy side effects with the treatment, but we tried to solve every problem as it came. We were hopeful. One of the problems was iron-deficiency anemia, so she had to be put at a hospital for a few days. And an oncologist at the regional oncology hospital told her not to take cancer medication, as it could interfere with an iron IV drip. Doctors at the Moscow hospital had another opinion, but she didn't listen. She didn't take cancer treatment for eight days, which led to cancer spread. There were new metastases in many vital organs, including the brain. She can't even move now.

My brother with his wife came yesterday. They had another chat with the Moscow's oncologist. According to the tests, she had about one month to live left. They asked me not to tell anyone in the family, including parents, and pretend that everything is fine.

So, yeah. Ultimately, I think that refusal of the help was what led to this. And maybe ChatGPT was onto something about me too.