Dear Fat,
We need to talk. You said you'd only stay for nine months, but it's been nine years and you're still here. That's not symbiosis, that's abuse and a serious lack of consideration, if not nerve.
Don't you think you've mooched enough? I've done my best to make you comfortable for too long. It's time for you to move on—don't make me pull out the big guns. I'll switch to salads and daily runs if needed. Don't believe me? Try me.
At first I was afraid, I was petrified, thinking I could live with you by my side. And after spending so many nights wondering how to kick you out and feeling sorry for myself, I grew strong. So, go, walk out the door. You're not welcome anymore. As long as I know how to diet, I know I'll stay alive. Oh yes, I will survive.
Signed,
Your landlady
P.S. This is not a letter. It's an eviction notice.
The grammar is fine and there are no mistakes. (I do not understand the exact context, but the original wording seems fine.)
@T-Newfields (No wonder) It's someone's letter to their body fat. Thanks so much for reading.
Sadly, Fat is there to stay...they can be quite stubborn🤪
@Lariza Hi, neighbor. When Fat drops in, it never leaves.😄