I haven't had the energy to write posts lately because of a sad experience. I'm sorry to bring up such a serious subject, but I want to write about it. Journaly has already become more than just a study tool for me.

I have a friend, who has a lot in common with me. She's my age and works as a web freelancer in Toyama, where I live. Few women work as freelancers in Toyama because it's a rural location. I'm working for a company now, but was a freelancer for many years, so I can understand the challenges she's been facing. She's single and had spent a long time caring for her mother. That's why she couldn't work away from home. Her mother passed away last year.

She and I met through our work and share similar interests, and we attended seminars in Nagoya together a couple of times. We also shared similar tastes in music and art. She always offered me insightful commentary when she attended the art events in which I participated as a performer or staff member.

The primary similarity between us was that we both experienced breast cancer at roughly the same time. Ten years have passed since then; I'm in remission and finished treatment, but her cancer came back. I heard she didn't have long to live, and went to see her the other day. She asked if she could hand the maintenance of the several websites she created over to me. I thought I had something to say other than about work, but she was a genuine worker, so I accepted her request and nodded as I listened. Her site's brilliant color palette brought back memories of the days when she was in good health.

When I left her house, she said, "Take care of your health". I wasn't able to find words to reply and said, "See you again".

After I got home, I felt numb, and just working eight hours a day has depleted all of my vitality. It'll take some time for me to accept reality and return to my regular state of mind.