The Gang Corporation, a renowned think tank, is holding an emergency meeting with the most reputable environmental experts to find a definitive solution to the problem of climate change, given the sudden increase of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Its leader opens the session by tapping the microphone.

“Tap, tap, tap. Hello, hello. Eenie meenie miney moe. Can you hear me?” Some of the attendees nod and he goes on, “Well guys, you know the drill — greenhouse gas emissions are covering the earth, retaining the sun's heat, hence global warming and climate change. The world is warming faster than at any time in recorded history, and we're here to carry out a Hail Mary pass. The Earth depends entirely on our agency. We have actually touched on this many times, but for those of you who still think this isn't freaking serious, here's a loaf of bread I baked myself in my mailbox this very morning.”

“Oooooh!” exclaim those present, astounded.

“So today, no one is going to leave here until I say so.”

As he speaks, his voice grows louder and louder. “Is that clear? In front of you, you'll find a brief dossier. Open it to page 1364. You, the one in the baseball cap, read aloud.”

The guy stands up and says, “I’m sorry, the thing is I left my glasses at home and I can't see a thing.”

The leader rolls his eyes and looks around the table for someone else to read. Another scientist eagerly raises his hand. “Okay, okay. You'll do,” the leader says dismissively.

The super-driven scientist stands up and starts reading, “Title: ‘The Cows in My Town’. In my town, there are cows up the wazoo, and the mayor says that we need to get rid of them because they fart like crazy and the methane they produce pollutes the air. However, the vet says that if we reduce the production of meat, we'll also reduce methane emissions. It's not a matter of becoming vegans or anything, but of reducing the consumption of meatballs and—”

“Cut, cut, cut,” the leader interrupts, “I’m sure we all get the picture. The whole thing is a sad case — thousands of liters of water, tons of fertilizer, a gazillion dollars in fuel for transportation, and if all that wasn’t enough, mountains of plastic containers that will end up in the trash … We have no choice — the cows have to be sacrificed.”

“Yes! Absolutely!” says one of them.

“Totally agree!” another shouts.

“What a cool idea!” shouts the guy in the baseball cap, grabbing the rim and turning it backwards.

“So, enough blaming cows already!” the leader declares.

“Wait. And what are we going to do with all that meat?” asks the super-motivated environmentalist.

“Reduce our foodprint, obviously…” the leader replies.

“I don’t see how. Could you give us a sense of how exactly we’re doing that?”

“Sure thing. I could ramble on about that for hours, but, ultimately, it all comes down to … eating it.”

“Yes!!!” they all shout in unison.

“All right, listen up! Next Sunday, we're throwing a BBQ! Everybody’s invited! But please, I don't want to see a single plastic cup. Let’s be consistent. See you all next Sunday! Let's call it a day!”