Perfectionism isn't a good quality.
English

Perfectionism isn't a good quality.

by

psychology
cognitive science
daily life

Hi everyone,

I wrote this back in May, I think, but I just remembered it today and decided to share it here. It's nothing very elaborate; my main goal was to practice writing about a topic that caught my attention at the time. The things I wrote only reflect my thoughts, and opinions, so, feel free to disagree and give your point of view.

_♧_♧_♧_♧_♧_

Today, I was listening to a podcast called The Psychology of Your 20s, and it really made me think about the topic presented in episode 86: Perfectionism and Academic Anxiety. I don't want to discuss academic anxiety, but I'd like to delve into the topic of perfectionism and how it impacts our lives.

What is Perfectionism?

If we look this word up in the Cambridge Dictionary, we'll find that the definition: the wish for everything to be correct or perfect! Based on this definition, we may come up with a few questions. Is it possible to do everything perfectly? Can we be good at everything? Why should we be perfect? What does it mean to be perfect? So many questions, and to be honest, I don't have the answers. However, it may make us reflect on our actions and how they influence our daily lives. The desire to do everything perfectly will keep us even from starting something we really want to do. This fear of failing will make us procrastinate, postpone projects, ideas, dreams and many other things. So, I believe that understanding this process better will open a door to change - at least we can try.

Types of Perfectionists

The research conducted by clinical psychologists Dr. Paul Hewitt and Dr. Gordon Fleet shows three types of perfectionism as explained by their multidimensional perfectionism scale. The first one is called the Socially Prescribed Perfectionist. This type is extremely self-critical and feels very pressured by their own standards. They also worry too much about other people's opinions of them, and they usually present low self-esteem and confidence. The second type is the Other-Oriented Perfectionist. They set high standards for themselves and also for those around them, which makes it hard to form relationships with them. They also can be very destructive. The last type is the Self-Oriented Perfectionist. They set high standards for themselves as well, however, they're able to pursue their goals. That makes them very productive and successful. Personally, I don't think we should try to be any of these. Instead, we must find ways to be comfortable in our own skin and set achievable goals. Nevertheless, it's quite important to understand all three types, determine which one applies to you, and work to change.

Final Thoughts

As I mentioned earlier, I believe that understanding perfectionism can help us to better deal with it. I'd also like to emphasize that we shouldn't see it as an inherent property since that's so detrimental to our mental health. Accept the fact that no matter what we do, we'll never be perfect. Actually, no one is perfect, and it must be a relief. You're allowed to make mistakes and try again. Our mistakes can't define who we are nor can they stop us from pursuing our dreams and goals. Understand, accept, and change - let's adopt this new mentality.

That's it! Thanks for reading!

Headline image by brett_jordan on Unsplash

3