Losing close friends is a much more sorrowful event to me in comparison to losing a lover. "That's nonsense," you might say. Not exactly. I did not say that when you break off your romantic bond is less painful or emotional. However, the wound caused by a falling out with a genuine friend hurts longer and a new friend can't heal this pain.
I am a henchman of the idea that true friendship has the same nature as true love, but with one important difference - there is no place for sexual desires, advances and intentions. As a result, your interactions and feelings toward your close friend are free from many weird or intimate deeds and behaviour. I assume that’s why we often witness cheerful, long-lasting relationships between friends and fewer among stable, happy couples. Another argument of my point is based on my own experience. I’ve seen in many cases where after divorce couples become close, supportive friends for many years and their mutual attitude towards each other becomes much warmer.
"What's your conclusion?" you ask me. Do you believe that love is worse than friendship? My answer is no. I argue that it is the same phenomenon at the core only with different context, fulfillment and ending. I am curious to know if anyone will agree with me.
Love and friendship are just words to describe a rich reality, as you said it in one of your previous posts. I agree with you that they both raise from the same core feeling of attachment, bonding. Sexual attraction has little to do with attachment per se.
Great job, Alex. You conveyed a lot of complex ideas and wove them together cohesively in a short post. That's no easy feat. Also, your English is clear and doesn't impede on the reader's understanding of the post.
Hi Alex, I can mostly agree with your statements. I just like to add a small thought that came to my mind while reading your text. I just feel that an important difference between "long-lasting friends" and "stable couples" is the pressure they put themselves under. Friends tend to have "breaks" whenever they feel, can step aside a couple of days when they feel like it, anything goes. Couples on the other hand usually have more of a feeling of obligation. They also tend to undertake bigger financial risks, take responsibility on children ... all of which are sources of pressure in difficult moments. I'm just saying that I think it's not enough to name "sexual desires" as the one and only differentiator. "Sex" is just one of the pressure sources, there are more. Anyway, it's always great to have a true friend, independent of what the relation looks like.
Losing close friends can be much more painful than losing a partner, I agree with that. But as regards the nature of love and friendship, I would differ. I've already tried friendship with sex and it doesn't equal to love, I'm afraid 😅 There's something more to love, but it's hard to say what exactly... For the lack of a better word I'd call it magic 😄 Although some say that magic is very much like addiction (and they are scientists 🧐).
title: ... just a play on words