— Want to see a mind-blowing magic trick?

— OK…

— Pick a deck of cards and fan it out.

— Alright… now what?

— Turn them over. The cards have to be face up.

— Are you sure?

— As sure as hell. Now I’m picking a card. Don’t peek — turn your head.

— What?! Are you kidding me? You’re supposed to guess the card, not me!

— That trick is as old as the hills. I’m doing a way more modern version. Just wait…

— If you say so… fine. Pick one.

— Give me just a few seconds… to think…

— OK, but don’t drag it out. My ice cream is starting to melt.

— Your ice cream looks perfectly fine… but don’t you dare turn your head yet. I just need to… make some super important decisions… and…

— Decisions?! Seriously?! You’re taking forever!

— Okay, okay! Chill. You can turn now… I’m done.

— Finally! So... what card did you pick? Wait… where the heck is my icecream?

— The… king of idiots.