Well ... It's time to move to a new country. I had wanted to move to the US to my ex, until my recent breakup but it's time to figure out what my new destination is, now that the US is off the table.
Before, moving was about attachment - to a person, a family, a ready-made life. Now, it's about detachment and building something that is authentically mine. It's what I've come to think of as "betting on myself."
I'm a Hungarian Software engineer, so my options are mostly EU countries. Unfortunately, money as a software engineer in Europe is not the best, you can earn waaaay less here than in the US, so that's an issue. Probably, I'd also have fewer days off in the US, but my current life stage that wouldn't be an issue. I only speak English, and at the moment I'm not planning to learn a new language because I want to improve my professional skills, and my communication skills in english, so learning a new language is not priority right now.
My move is no longer towards a person, but towards a set of conditions:
- A Tech Hub with a Soul: A city where I can grow my career but also walk to a cafe, hike on a weekend, and not need a car for every errand.
- A Community: I'm not looking for a new family to adopt me. I'm looking to build a "chosen family" of friends, colleagues, and connections.
- The Freedom to Be Myself
While the raw salary numbers can't compete with Silicon Valley or even Atlanta, I'm learning to measure the offer differently. It's about the total value of the life package. As an EU citizen, my superpower is the ability to travel without visas. I can choose a city for its life, not just its paycheck.
So, I'm turning to my network. Have you made a similar move? I'm researching cities that could fit this new blueprint. I'd love to hear from you if:
- You've built a life as a software engineer in an English-friendly European tech hub (I'm looking at you, Berlin, Amsterdam, Dublin, Copenhagen, Stockholm etc etc...).
- You've navigated the balance of good salary, vibrant city life, and access to nature.
- You've found communities or have tips on building a "chosen family" abroad.
Your stories, warnings, and recommendations would mean a lot as I plot this next chapter.
I've never moved to a different country for work, but I have moved to a different city for love. And given the vast enormity of the US, that's almost the same as another country in some cases. It's both daunting and exhilarating at the same time. As far as your chosen family, I think it's inevitable that the first "members" will be coworkers... or at least some of them because ① they're the people you're thrown in with every day and ② since you work in the same field/company, you automatically have common interests, which is a recipe for a rapport. But most of these will most likely be your the distant relatives in your chosen family — you'll want to make friends, and I believe that process won't be too dissimilar from what you've done here on Journaly: you put yourself out there, be wonderful, open, friendly self, and start meeting people. Look into local clubs, meetups, hang out in cafés, etc. I'm excited for you. A fresh start in a new place is always thrilling. I don't know if you're a praying man, but ask for guidance and see what doors open up. As we say in English, the world is your oyster!