Writing down what truly feels like the most helpful form of these past few weeks, the urge to turn something into reality has begun to feel almost uncontrollable, intensifying alongside the many obstacles surrounding me. Even watching instant-dopamine videos now triggers sadness. There are so many relatives who, beyond comfort, struggle even with the basic dignity of living. Their days are filled with asking, requesting, and eventually surrendering. I have only just begun to taste an old obsession an obsession whose manifestation is fierce, even if it comes merely from enjoying my first salary.

It feels as though the world could be within my grasp in just a few years because of it. In its better meaning, this feeling is gratitude, Though I remain far from secure, even for the coming month. The conviction planted deep within my soul I once believed I was forced to grow by the abundance of dogma around us, dogma whose seeds were spread and carefully nurtured by religion and culture. Now it has grown wild, rooted deeply, And my mistake was thinking it was the only thing to blame. This is not merely about good and evil, but also about the compulsion to see and understand What truly exists around us? So much information arrives carrying news of disasters, shattering a soul that had briefly drowned in the power of a first paycheck.

The guilt is overwhelming, pulling me inward into a vast, brightly lit pit, a pit whose origin I do not fully understand, Yet one that grows stronger and increasingly real. There, I am able to help not only others, but another version of myself: a liberated version, one that grows and helps others grow. That place appears beautiful, bathed in light, because there is no longer any restlessness; I am forced to ignore for the sake of self-enriching ambition. That imagination is powerful because it is, in truth, what already exists.

I firmly believe that part of the future mirrors this vision, And now I long for it deeply. So much time has been wasted slowly, under the guise of fleeting humanitarian trends enjoying city lights at night, loving like in Western films and their campaigns, and what I regret most: a new way of thinking that no longer considers others. This writing contains nothing but anxiety and sadness, keeping me company during breakfast in the middle of a weekday holiday as a freelance worker.

Yet I am convinced this is the path. There is no desire that burns too fiercely, only because our future already possesses it. There is no desire that is excessively strong, only the present moment,t striving to preserve it. And there is no such thing as dreams, Except for the future telling its story too early.