“I told you!” I said to myself yesterday when I tried to hold a decent conversation in French. Now my brain feels like Pandora’s box — every time I open it, an unexpected wind comes out. Surprise, surprise! When I need a gentle Mediterranean breeze, I just get a scorching Chinook or a freezing mistral instead.

I know it could be even worse, so I’ll just keep going and see what happens with all my languages. The people who know what I’m trying to get at don’t really worry me. It’s the others, whose faces don’t look like they’re quite understanding me. Not even dogs do — and they’re really smart — so I need a plan. What plan? No idea, but I'm not throwing in the towel.