I realized that I got addicted to exercise and learning languages and science, and I think that it is the best addiction that I could get. Throughout years of lingering problems, I have always found a great relief in exercise and learning. That is something that keeps me sane till these days. All the problems don't feel so painful as they would if I didn't have these coping mechanism in my life. Although I must admit that these enduring problems keep draining positive energy out of me, but I still try to be productive, I still look for positivity in my life and I will keep doing it until I find solution to all these problems. I strongly believe that I will not fall apart, because there are so many interesting things to learn and there is such wonderful feeling that you get after forcing your body to extremes during physical activity, but not overtraining of course. Those negative thoughts that speak to me that I am weak and worthless start losing their strength after physical activity, because I feel so much stronger and so much under control after an intensive workout. Maybe these activities are not happiness, but they definitely lead me towards it. I strongly believe in it.