“Is this all I’m given in the end? Death! I haven’t lived my life yet! Shouldn’t I have a chance to live life first before dying?

“Mum, can I put on some make-up, please?” “You can do only when you’re grown up.”

“Dad, can I stay over at my friend’s?” “When you have your own house, you can do whatever you want.”

“Dad, Ahmed, my colleague loves me and we’d like to be together!” “Love means marriage. Either he marries you or nothing!”

And marriage means a job. You have to save money to equip your future house. Save up for the pretty white dress of your wedding! Save up for a car! You’ll have children. Cook, sew, serve them!

Save up for the future! Where is the future? Where is it?”

In an Egyptian movie called, Moments of Love, this soliloquy was said by Amina, the heroine ,when she found out she had tumors. She lived in the service of everybody around her, except for herself. Knowing that her end could be coming up soon pushed her to reconsider everything she had in life.

That reminded me of my mother. She focused on bringing us up, providing us with our needs. She was a mother and a father. She was a cook and a tailor. She put her own wishes on ice and desperately waited for her retirement to make them true. She kept putting things off, hoping one day she would enjoy doing them.

She had no idea that dementia was waiting for her on the other side of her life. She didn’t know that even before her retirement, she would lose control of many things, her mind included. She didn’t know that by the time she was retired, she wouldn’t be as independent as she always was, and that her mother would be her caregiver. She now can do absolutely nothing, unwillingly.

Whenever my mother saw something she liked, a new piece of clothes, a pan, a bed sheet etc, she would buy it and keep it for later. There are still many brand-new clothes in her wardrobe that she hasn’t used. These clothes don’t fit her anymore since she lost a lot of weight.

Many of us, especially in this part of the world, are just like Amina and my mother. We put off a lot of wishes, dreams and things we long to achieve. We hope that tomorrow will be the right time to get them. Tomorrow, however, might not be any different from today. It’s up to us to make it different.

Our life consists of moments. If we don’t catch these moments and live them right away, they will be gone forever. Our today will rapidly become our yesterday.

I don’t want today to slip through my fingers like drops of water. I want to live my life before it’s too late. I want to enjoy the small details of my day: quality time with my niece and nephew, a hug with my mother, a cake I bake, a cup of coffee, a short walk with a dog. I'll try my best to fill my life with moments of love, empathy, learning and giving back.