In recent years, the term 'blackpill' has gained notoriety in online forums, especially among individuals who identify themselves as incels (involuntarily celibate). It's an online ideology that carries a fatalist and highly negative connotation, and it's centered on the idea that men's (and women's) romantic sucess with the opposite sex is determined almost exclusively by physical attributes such as facial symmetry, height and bone structure — especially the jawline, canthal tilt or the concept of Chad (a male archetype who is highly desired by women). Unlike the redpill, the blackpill ideology doesn't advocate for "game" or the idea that you attract a woman by being confident and charismatic. It takes on a more fatalistic tone: your personality is not enough — you have to be born with the right genes.

The blackpill community seems to have its own lingo. Jargon terms like Chad (an idealized male who attracts female attention without effort), normie (an average individual) and subhuman (a man who doesn't meet minimal beauty standards) are thrown around quite a lot. These concepts are discussed in depth based on empirical observations, anecdotal data, and even studies on female preferences in dating apps like Tinder.

I agree with the blackpill when it says that looks are the most important factor in dating. Dating apps are proof that appearance matters most — at least at first glance. The same applies in real life. You might have a great personality, but if you're not conventionally attractive, you're going to get rejected a lot. Personality is important only after you've attracted the person. Before that, if your looks weren't enough to catch their interest, you won't even get the chance to show who you are on the inside.

Now, that doesn't mean all is lost if you didn't luck out in the genetics lottery. In this sense, the blackpill view is very deterministic and negative. Falling into this mentality of "it's over if I'm not good-looking, there's no point in even trying" is destructive and will only lead to frustration down the line. I believe that everyone can improve their looks dramatically. You can work out to get in shape, take care of your skin, get a better haircut, whiten your teeth, dress better, and, in extreme cases, consider cosmetic surgery.

For me, admitting that physical appearance matters most at first glance doesn't mean giving up dating. On the contrary, it means understanding the rules of the game and doing what you can to improve. The key difference is that, instead of focusing on what you can't change, you focus on what is within your control.