The next day, I flew back to the garden. As soon as I set paw down, I couldn’t help but chuckle. She had hung a cross-eyed fake snake on a tree and placed a scarecrow right next to the tomato plants. Please. I’m a blackbird, lady. You’d need a lion to scare me away — at the very least.So I started to do my thing. I caught a bunch of worms and skedaddled to a cooler spot. I went back at noon and again in the afternoon, and every time I did, I found — to my astonishment — that every single hole I’d made had been covered with soil again. The same thing happened over the next few days. So, who’s the stubborn one now? And what’s with the aluminum foil? That’s so anti-environmental that I had to take the trouble of getting rid of it myself.

Anyway, I gotta go now. I’ve got an appointment at the salon to dye my feathers black. Truth is... I’m actually a white blackbird. And that’s something the world isn’t ready for. Yet.