My Backyard Nemesis
English

My Backyard Nemesis

by

daily life

Day 1

I feel as if I'm starring in the sequel to the movie Starlings in my own house these days. Ever since a blackbird chick appeared dead in the fireplace, an adult blackbird—probably its mother—has been driving me crazy. I haven't gotten to the point of wearing a helmet yet, but I'm toying with the idea of resorting to some sort of throwing weapon, whatever works: a slipper, a broom, or even a stone. Waking up to a garden full of holes in the soil, pulled-up lettuce, and a huge mess of dirt scattered everywhere is more than I'm willing to put up with. The bird treats my garden like a free buffet.

I started with peaceful methods: First, I hung up a disco ball, hoping the reflections would scare it away. Then I built a scarecrow the size of a ten-year-old boy, and finally, I managed to made a ten-foot colorful snake out of a black hose, but the bird has been hovering all day anyway. Tomorrow I'm pulling out the big guns. I haven’t been working my ass off just to have everything ruined by a freeloader.

I just saw it's back! I'll be right back. This is war.

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