This conversation isn’t over. I haven’t even talked about my feelings yet.

—Okay, I’m all ears. What’s eating at you?

Me? Nothing.

—Really? I can feel your bittersweet inner feelings.

Can you? I’ve got some conflicting emotions—a strange mix of anxiety and optimism. But honestly, I’m feeling good and confident.

—Glad to hear that. I’m proud of you. Yesterday, I thought you were just a clueless busybody. But now, I’m hopeful. There’s still a chance you won’t embarrass me or make me look like a jealous, insecure brother.

Sad. I thought pretty much the same about you. Except with a couple of extra things.

—What things?

Well, you know.

—No, I don’t. Explain yourself.

You sure you won’t be disappointed?

—Not an iota.

Okay, fine—you're such an overwhelming brother. There, I said it.

— I'm going to tell mom.

Fair enough. Remember when you walked into your room to see your hamster was gone, and you got frantic?

— Yes, I panicked. So what?

It didn't. I took it for a walk.

— Really? Phew! What a relief.

What? I don't understand. You seem totally unfazed!

— Yeah, well. I took your turtle diving a few days later. That's why.

Diving where?

— The bathroom.