Two jaguars bump into each other in the jungle. They don't speak the same language, so they try to communicate in English, and one says to the other, "Jaguar you?"

Two men are fighting over a piece of land. Since they can't come to an agreement, they decide to solve the problem by having their two best animals fight. The land goes to the winner/The winner gets the land.

On the day of the fight, one man shows up with a huge dog and the other with a tiny fawn. In less than a minute, the fawn finishes off the dog.

Stunned, the dog's owner says, "How is that possible? I'll buy the fawn from you! How much do you want for it?"

"One million dollars."

"What? One million dollars? Why so much?"

"Because that's what I paid for the plastic surgery for the crocodile...."

A man wins the lottery and celebrates by going on a safari to Africa.

As he walks through the rain forest, he keeps saying, "I'm rich, I'm rich."

Suddenly, a lion appears and eats him.

"That's true — he was really rich."