Last night journal

Finally a night that I can chill and watch a movie. I haven't slept well for a week because I was alone and I couldn't relax.

I invited my friend over and I'm glad that she came. Now we're just enjoying each other's company like the good old days when we were roommates.

I'm really grateful. How safe some people make you feel.

Now

Just a half hour after my friend left, some asshole threw a bullet in the backyard. There was also a plastic bottle cut in half, but that couldn't be the wind. I'm anxious now. I can't put my finger on this feeling. Is it fear, worry, anger, or loneliness? I feel the way I do when I'm sleep deprived.

What's the worst thing that could happen? The other night I had a dream that someone was choking me in the bathroom after my friends had left. Remembering this kind of scared me. Why are some people so stupid? The other day, someone broke our next door neighbor's tree branches.

I just don't get it. Siiiiigh!

When I'm anxious, I write. Not always! It's a good thing to do though. I just wrote my worry list and where it comes from? I'm kind of paralyzed. Now, I can hear the doorknob. I know it's the wind, but I feel like shit.

What is calming me down now? Our neighbor playing his instrument and singing. I'm glad we have some nice neighbors. I feel safe. Writing this post is also nice.

By the way, it's so cold that it drives me crazy. It's my PMS time, too. So, I take it easy and let myself feel what my heart wants to do. I don't have patience to watch YouTube videos about the topic. So, if you're going to leave a comment, please include some tips to calm me down.