Adventure - during the night of the 14th of February, last year.
Nothing to do with Valentine's day, or a love affair, or even, a sensual experience.
No... just my first English word in a dream.
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Mes yeux s'ouvrent. Je comprends qu'il fait jour. Adventure! J'ai besoin d'un café. eh! oh! Adventure! Mais quoi! avec ton Adventure! Stop.
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Wait a minute! I dream in English now!!! Calm down, it was just one word not a full dream in English. Yes, but,
- growl of pleasure - my first word... on Valentine's day 😍.
Why do I embark on the adventure of learning languages? Adventure!
I know learning languages develop many skills, memory, patience, perseverance, hearing, fighting against Alzheimer's... As result yes... But, I doubt the fact that all these reasons are the real reason behind them.
Well, yes, I want to learn English because it will increase my ability to be patient? Er, this sounds awkward.
So, what's the deep desire? What was the first move? What was the first spark?
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Mince! Mon café! Atch, café brûlé ... repeat again!
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So, obviously, I distinguish here the need to learn a foreign language (because, for example, you have to immigrate) from the desire of learning when you are already satisfied with your life as it is.
Why this desire is so strong?
I have some assumptions here, based on the characteristics of my own desire:
- Compensation system, an emotional motivation:
Let's go back to childhood. You are like 5 years old, you want to show how you are the most beautiful gifted child, your universe is your parents. You've put on your Robin Hood costume, actually, the green shirt of uncle Harry, beautifully disjointed so that it fits you perfecly .
And, something goes wrong. Your parents are yelling at you and uncle Harry in on the verge of apoplexia because his military uniform is fucked up.
You registered that performed on a scene is very dangerous. You can't never do that again. But, your desire to be admired is still here. So, you are struggling with learning different languages but, maybe, a good idea would be to get on stage.
The motivation of this first example is based on the lack, a lack of confidence, a lack of security that feeling admired will satisfy. But it is rarely the case because with a compensation system, we are always unsatisfied.
- You have to, you must:
I lived in Brussels many years. For those who know Belgium, you are aware of the conflict between the two linguistics communities, the Walloons and the Flemish. Some people presume that you have to learn the languages spoken in a country, by respect. Actually, I should have learned Nederlands, Deutsch and I should have taken on oath to the king. Not always a good idea for a French woman ;). Here, the motivation is based on a moral code. And why not? Language learning is a long trip. Do it with you have, you must friends and the trip could become a Way of the Cross. Nails, I don't like them very much.
- Appetite:
Do you know that in a very old French, when we talked about a fiancé, we said "mon futur", my futur?
I'm not hungry about languages, I have an appetite for them. It's not a question of results, it's not about
obligations.
- It's about thrilling hearing different sounds;
- It's about enjoying pronouncing them;
- It's about discovering your own unknown;
- a self with a different and more rich personality. Adventure!
When I speak to a stranger in his native language, I lost my french self because things are not told the same way but in return, he gives me the gift of myself, noticing all the different alterities. We see the gap between us, we see the lack in our learning skills, we see the distance. And that distance is future, that distance gives desire. There will always have distance because no matter what, I won't be an English speaker.
Be happy to be missing, to feel the distance, don't try to merge with others, it will give you the opportunity to go on an... adventure!
