Hi everyone! I'm preparing for the C1 Cambridge exam, so I'm practicing writing. I would like you to assess this post, please.

The exercise is to write an essay in 220-260 words:

"Your class has watched a television documentary about the benefits of helping immigrants to integrate into their local communities. You have made the notes below:

Areas covered:

- Language

- Culture

- Work

Write an essay discussing two of the areas in your note. You should explain why the areas are important and provide reasons in support of your answer."

This is what I've written. I'd appreciate your feedback and corrections. Thank you :) (IT'S PURELY FICTIONAL).

"

Our current era is well known by the fact that the world is more diverse and cosmopolitan than ever before. Almost everyone knows someone who has not been born in their same country or has some relatives or friends who had have to emigrate to somewhere to make their living. Fortunatedly, most governments are making traveling and moving abroad the easiest as possible for most citizens.

I personally believe that learning the official language of the country you are about to move to is the first thing you have to take into consideration. A deep knowledge of the local language will be very useful not only to access to more appealing job opportunities, but also to really understand the culture of that community.

Most statistics and studies suggest that the most common reason why immigrants come to a new country is to find work. Nevertheless, in my opinion, there are still lots of things to improve in order to provide immigrants appropiate and rewarding jobs. For instance, some specific formation period provided by the recruitment companies. On the other hand, those companies will benift from the diversity of their employees.

In conclusion, from my point of view, I think we all should make an effort to help immigrants to integrate in our society. As a result, all together will contribute to the growth of the country and will enrich it by creating strong bonds between people.

"