It feels weird, not being your friend, like I did something terribly wrong. I mean, I know I did wrong, and I was inconsiderate, and cranky on more than one occasion, and annoying and time consuming and I could go on and list more things if that is what you would like.

And if that is what you would like (for me to list until the bell goes off - “ding that is the one, Nitza, that’s the reason, you’ve just never admitted or apologized for it,”) tell me, and I will keep guessing until the bell rings and you are satisfied.

I would do anything you would like, within reason - I would even continue this “this friendship is over” mandate, if I knew what I did that was so unforgivable, or if we didn’t have a shred of shared history.

But if there is any hope of salvaging a friendship, and you want to help with that, just tell me what you would like me to admit, what you would like me to apologize for, what you would like me to do, and I will do it.

Anyways, I am not saying you are wrong to leave the friendship, or that I have any right to it. I am just saying I am in pain, knowing I caused someone to hate me, or to deny any association with me forever.

I think anyone would feel pain if someone whom they always liked and admired told them a friendship was over. I think it is a normal reaction to feel guilt and self-loathing in such a situation. Which, admittedly, is not your problem. So again, you are not wrong to leave the friendship.

You are not wrong to feel that my friendship let you down, brought you down, sucked your time, killed your spirit, whatever it did. It did those things. Of course you had to leave. At any rate, that is fine, you are right, and I just wanted to give a really good good-bye to the friendship, to you, because you are important to me and I am sorry.

So good bye, and thank you for the friendship, and if you one day need anything in the future, I am here.