Writing practice 9
Korean

Writing practice 9

by

language learning

I am still confused about which is better uploading original writing or revised one by Chat GPT.

Uploading the revised manuscript might help me learn English expressions and good sentence structures better. However, if I upload the original manuscript, I can have my mistakes directly reviewed, which might make them more memorable.

Writing task:

In many countries, the traditional family structure is changing, and there are more families where both parents work.

Discuss the causes of this change and what effects it may have on family life and society as a whole.

Answer:

The basic concept of a family traditionally revolves around a married couple. In the past, particularly during the agricultural period, it was common for three generations to live together and work collectively. Farming, a labor-intensive industry, required the combined efforts of extended family members. However, with modernization, the family unit gradually shrank to consist of just parents and children. Until the mid-20th century, the father's role was primarily to earn a living, while the mother was responsible for household chores and childcare. This traditional structure has since undergone significant changes, particularly with the increasing awareness of women's rights and the necessity for women to contribute economically by working outside the home.

As the cost of living increased, a single income often became insufficient to cover expenses such as housing and education. According to research, 70% of households now have both parents working, and 80% of men in their 30s express a desire for their partner to maintain employment after marriage. This shift represents a significant change in traditionally patriarchal societies. However, the transition has not been entirely smooth, and the absence of traditional gender roles has sometimes left gaps in family responsibilities, particularly in childcare.

While the expectation for mothers to care for children remains strong, the added responsibility of maintaining a career has led to the emergence of the so-called "super mom" who excels at both. To support working parents, many societies have introduced after-school programs and parental leave policies. In Korea, for instance, many children attend private education facilities, such as piano or Taekwondo lessons, to occupy their time until their parents return from work. Additionally, the number of fathers taking paternity leave is on the rise, reflecting a gradual shift in family dynamics.

Despite the challenges families face as traditional roles evolve, the broader society benefits from the increased labor force, which bolsters the national economy. The influx of women into the workforce has not only enhanced productivity but also injected new creativity into various industries. In a society that increasingly values innovation, the integration of women into the workforce is seen as essential. It is often said that without women’s participation, society would have lost half of its potential human resources.

In conclusion, the shift in family roles, driven by economic and societal changes, has had profound effects on both the family unit and the broader economy. Although this transition remains challenging, with careful support from governments, a balance between work and family life can be achieved. When harmony is reached, it could serve as a powerful catalyst for continued social and economic progress.

Headline image by hillshirefarm on Unsplash

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