(A doctor and a nurse walk into a patient's room)

"Mr. Grafft, I'm Dr. Williams. How are you today?"

"Good as new, Doc."

"I'm glad to hear that. May I call you by your first name?"

"Sure thing, Doctor. My name's Truman. What's yours?

"George. Mr. Grafft, in your medical report— "

"George, like George Clooney? Hahaha, what a coincidence! You're a dead ringer for him!"

"Well, unfortunately, I don't have his looks. Mr. Grafft, your medical report says that your name is Steven and that three days ago, you were admitted to the hospital with a severe concussion from a fall while trimming a tree. Do you remember what happened that day?"

"Nothing at all, but you can ask my wife, Angela. She has the memory of an elephant."

"Your wife, Lauren, has requested that we discharge you today, at your own risk."

"Oh, that's great. "

"You're a gardener, right?"

"No sir, I'm a writer. I've been a lawyer since I was in college_"

"Is that so? Where did you go to college?"

"University of Scamfor."

"Scamfor? And where would this university be?"

"In Cleveland, Illinois."

"I see… and do you have children?"

"Yes, three or four."

"Do you remember their names?"

"Sure, Charlie and Lucy. We gave the boy a random name, but we named the girl after my mother, Susan."

"I see ... Mr. Grafft, your insurance only covers you until tomorrow, and your wife insists that we discharge you today. Do you have a steady job?"

"Doctor, my patience is wearing thin with all these questions. What kind of physician are you, an askologist?"

"I'm a neurologist and I'd like to do another CAT scan tomorrow first thing in the morning."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you, but I already have two cats and I don't need any more. The male is a tomcat and gets the female pregnant every now and again, but I'll spare you the details. So... I guess that's the good news. What's the bad news?"

"As your doctor, it behooves me to tell you that I can't discharge you for the time being."

"In that case, I'm entitled to a phone call — I won't answer any more questions until I speak with my attorney."

*Headline picture by ¡Stockphoto