My husband wishing me "Godspeed" was exactly what I needed. Without thinking twice, I rushed into the kitchen and made a batch of buns. I hadn't planned to bake, but the smell that wafted around the kitchen as they came out of the oven suddenly changed the whole picture. Now all the pieces fit together, and I thought, "It's nice to reach certain milestones!". The first attempt at anything is usually a mess, and yet my spaghetti looked and tasted like heaven.

My bliss didn't last long, though. I was halfway through my ramen, when my boyfriend appeared in the doorway.

“Where do you keep the aspirines?” he asked.

"In the top drawer. Are they for your headache or your ego?" I replied with a mocking smile.

"Both. My stomach is in a knot. Who the hell taught your dog to play chess? She rolls the dice like a croupier.”

"The one and only Kasparov, who else?"

"Really? Is he here?" he asked suddenly interested.

"He who?"

"Let me rephrase the question: How badly do you want to toot your own horn?"

"Oh, wow, way to rub it in," I said annoyed.

Our relationship was a constant push and pull where I was the one pushing and he just tailgated me. I wanted to turn the screws on him, but I needed a bombshell to get him to leave.

"Listen, Matt. The body found in my tub was that of SpongeBob's body double."

"Is that so?" he asked, casually chewing on a toothpick.

"I can assure you, no one is more stunned than I am."

"Come on, honey. Maybe you should take it down a notch. What's for dinner?"

"Curry. But don't get too "curried away"—I've got a hunch this is going to be a rough weekend."

*Pictures by ¡StockPhoto.com