One day I was hanging out with my nephew in his kitchen when I noticed a pack of pills on the table. I didn't know what it was, so I googled it out of curiosity. My nephew asked me what it was, but given the nature of the drug, I was hesitant to tell him. But he pushed, and he could look it up himself, so I told him, "It's a medication to stop excessive bleeding." I figured it belonged to his mother to help with menstruation, but he told me, "Ah, it'll be my sister's then."
I was like "Huh? Isn't it too early? She's only 11!" He explained that it can start as young as at 10 or even younger. Then he told me about the problems she'd had and how she was seeing doctors because her periods were very heavy and painful. This discussion made me a little uncomfortable. I try to be open-minded, and I don't have any topics I'd consider taboo, but at the same time, I wasn't sure my niece would tell me all this herself and what she'd think of her health being discussed. What if she heard us? She was sleeping in the next room... And I'm not a stranger; I'm part of the family. In fact, I'm her godfather! Then I thought, Why is it even a problem?
I thought of a Reddit post I saw a few months ago. It was about a boy who had two younger sisters and neglectful parents. I don't remember where their parents were, maybe they were in prison or something. But the thing is, the boy had to take on the role of a parent. When his sister got her period, he explained what it is and helped her with the feminine products. The problem came when his second sister's period started. The boy's girlfriend found out about him helping his sister and called him a pervert, saying that he should've sent a woman to help her. I think the girlfriend is the one who wrote that post, asking if she can salvage their relationship, since it goes without saying that he dumped her after that. But the damage had been done. The youngest sister now has doubts about her brother's intentions. That post made my blood boil. Imagine being that boy, raising two kids since the age of 15, doing your best, and then being accused of being a pervert. And for what? For daring to have a discussion about a bodily function that 50% of the earth's population has?
The relationship between siblings has always been of special interest to me, so now I'm curious how common it is for boys to be aware of their sisters' periods. I'll probably ask my friend, who has nine siblings.
We're three boys and one girl, and she's the second youngest. When she got her period, my grandmother was still alive and she saw to her, as did my mother. But it wasn't a big mystery. I remember seeing feminine products in the bathroom and at times, if my sister wasn't feeling well, someone would ask her if she had her period. Other times, when we were teenagers, if we were going out, my sister would ask us to pick up tampons or maxi pads for her. It was never hidden from us, so it was always normal.
Thanks for sharing!
We're three girls, yet my family kept secrets regarding women's periods from us. My family was patriarchal and had a lot of secrets. I knew nothing until I studied about it in school.
I didn't think it was a good idea, so I didn’t hide anything from my son. Yes, it's just normal and annoying; nothing mysterious. I also had a pretty heavy one, so I sympathize to your niece.
お大事に！
Akiko, you did well to keep things transparent with your son. I know of so many families that never discussed sex or physiology with their kids when they were at a pivotal age, and a lot of girls ended up pregnant and a lot of boys responsible. My parents were always open with us, and as a result, my whole family is open. Last weekend, I invited my niece to go to the beach and she said she had just started her period and was too uncomfortable for the beach. It was as natural as if we were discussing the price of coffee! In fact, I didn't even give it a thought until I read your comment just now. I'm glad I'm the kind of uncle my niece can talk to about anything. She's a teenager and she had a boyfriend a couple of years ago who got fresh with her one time and she dumped him. She didn't want to tell her mom because my sister really liked the kid. I told her that boys will be boys and that if she likes him, she should put him in his place and let him know she's not interested in that kind of relationship and give him a chance. She did and they're still together. After a while, I told her to tell my sister what had happened and she was so nervous. But when she told her, my sister just said "Boys will be boys. Just tell him it better not happen again." Almost my exact words :)
I feel bad for the kid in this post. To be such a caring brother and be called a pervert is unconscionable! Shame on that stupid girl!
@CocoPop I managed to find that post. She actually said, You are a disgusting pig. It's insane.
But that's how she was raised, so the blame is partially on her parents.- I retract that statement. She's 26 and she should've known better.https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/1bg12cq/aitah_for_calling_my_boyfriend_disgusting_for/
@Akiko I heard that in Japan this topic is even more shunned. That's wild if a mother doesn't explain anything to her daughter. I'm glad you're breaking this cycle of ignorance with your child.
That's just as deplorable... to make him feel disgusting for doing what nobody else was equipped to do in his house.And yes, at 26 and as a woman, she could be more understanding. What a bitch!
@CocoPop If my family had acted like you and your sister, I could known about the world and me myself better and sooner. Your niece is a very happy girl!
@BalaGi Yeah, but it's a very old story, I believe Japanese families are more open-minded nowadays.
I have a daughter and we used to share this topic. She even didn't care to talk about this in front of her dad. I have a younger sister and my mom, my sister and I used to share this too. I guess it's up to families that we are raised. Some families are open, others are not.
Hey, @BalaGi I forgot to say that in Shintoism, women can't involve in festivals or more because of the menstrual. So, I guess historically they had to hide it.