One of my friends often talked about things he was doing with someone else, and I'd reply, "Sounds cool! Why didn't you invite me?"

And there was always some excuse. Some of them were legitimate, like "You're not in our circle of friends." Some felt like excuses, like "You're not drinking at the moment. You'll be bored stiff." Man, let me decide! Invite me so I can at least refuse! Or I can always order a tea and enjoy myself!

Anyways. He invited me to his birthday party in a pub. But he was very apologetic. "I'm going to celebrate my birthday today. Wanna join? The downside is that there's going to be a lot of people, including that guy you don't like. The upside is you won't have to interact with him because there'll be lots of other people around."

I know I'm introverted and sensitive, but come on! And what's the problem with the guy I don't like?

Ten years ago, when we were all still in university, we were watching Game of Thrones. I avoided spoilers the best that I could. It actually motivated me to start learning English. I switched from the Russian voiceover to Russian subtitles first because they were available a day faster, then I switched to English subtitles so I could watch the show right after it aired. Well, one day, I woke up and logged into my social network and saw a repost from this guy with a major spoiler. (Journaly would benefit from having a spoiler tag. The spoiler was the exact picture on this Wikipedia article.) I was annoyed to say the least. I was angry. I was furious. How could you?! He said, "I'm a victim too! The episode got spoiled for me by this social media group!" Then why the hell do you pass on the baton of suffering?

I hold my grudges for a long time. I'm that kind of person. And even after uni, every time my friend would mention that guy, I'd make sounds of disapproval. Eventually, I had no hard feelings left, so I was just repeating this behavior as kind of an inside joke. The show had already long ended, leaving an aftertaste of piss in our mouths (the last season was that bad). I couldn't care less about it anymore.

I mean, obviously I can't still be pissed off because of such an insignificant thing, right?

Well, my friend's invitation to the birthday party showed me that I was wrong.

I asked him, "Do you really believe that I still have some kind of hatred for his guy?"

He replied, "Actually, I did, until this very moment."

A few times on Journaly, I've felt like my jokes didn't land. I write something so outlandish that people shouldn't be able to take it at face value. But they do. I thought it was a language barrier, but now that I remembered this incident, I think sometimes I just act like an idiot.