Hello World,

How are things going for you? Not as good as you would like, right? I've heard the news. What a mess. But let's face it, you've never exactly been the paradise you were meant to be, though there have undoubtedly been better times. When dinosaurs roamed freely, perhaps? No, I must be wrong — dinosaurs and humans never coexisted. Too bad, that would've been fun.

Whoever put us on this planet must be thinking, "What a colossal mistake I've made... When did evolution become evilution?" Anyway, there's no time for pity parties, and besides, the smoking guns are hard to come by.

We can't help ourselves, we like bursting bubbles. That's what we're best at — the bigger the bubble, the more fun we have, although some have more fun than others ... That's the way it goes.

That's all for today. Hope you feel a heck of a lot better ASAP.

Lots of love,

The Jester Columnist