A young couple is visiting their obstetrician. She's four months pregnant and this is their first baby. They’re excited about having a baby and can’t stop grinning.

“Do you guys want to know the sex of the baby?” the doctor asks with a smile, sensing their excitement. They look at each other to make sure they both agree and nod at the same time.

“Yes! We can’t wait!”

“Are you ready? Your baby is a girl and…”

“Oh, my goodness! That's amazing! It's fantastic!” they both exclaim.

“It really is!” the doctor replies. “Because your baby is a girl and also a boy—”

“What??? Is there something wrong with my baby?” the woman asks, very worried.

“Oh no, no. What I’m trying to say is that—”

“You mean our baby is a hermaphrodite?? Like snails?? How is that even possible!?” the man asks, putting both hands on his head.

“Please, you two need to calm down. I was trying to say that you’re having twins; a girl and a boy,” the doctor tries to reassure them.

“Oh, jeez … what a relief!”

“Look at this. See how those two hearts are beating?” says the doctor, pointing her finger at the screen.

“Yes! It’s like a miracle … I can’t believe they’re our babies, Lucy…” he says with tears in his eyes. “I can almost see their faces… You see them, Lucy?”

“Yeah! I mean, nope,” she says, tilting her head like dogs do when they don't know what's going on. “That looks exactly the same as the weather map I saw on TV last month when the hurricane was about to hit Florida — full of clouds.”

“Let me show you, Lucy,” says the doctor, with a smile. “You see this? That’s the girl’s head. And do you see this little foot, on her head? That’s the boy’s foot.”

“Now I see it! Oh my God! Is she all right? I mean, you know how boys are, always kicking things…”

The doctor gives the husband a quick glance and changes the subject.

“Both babies are fine. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Are you sure, Doctor? I’d suffocate in there. There’s so little room for two. Are you sure they can breathe?” asks the husband.

The doctor can’t believe what she just heard. She knows new parents worry too much about everything and ask stupid questions all the time, but these two take the cake.

“Fetuses don’t breathe. They get everything they need from the umbilical cord. See this? That’s it,” the doctor explains with infinite patience.

“I see,” he says, without taking his eyes off the screen and looking like he doesn’t quite buy what the doctor's saying. “But shouldn’t that umbilingual cord be attached to their noses? That would make more sense … It’d work like a snorkel. I mean, there’s a lot of fluid in there…”

“Thanks for mansplaining, Doctor Snorkel,” his wife complains. “Will you stop asking stupid questions? Why don’t you go for a walk?” she asks him, clearly irritated.

“You pregnant women are insufferable,” he mutters.

“ Oh, yeah? You got a problem with me? Well, try carrying two babies in your belly, instead of a six-pack of beer.“

“Like beer is the problem now … You eat like a horse! 'Danny, get me some peanuts. Danny, I’m craving dark chocolate. No, get me the white one',” he scoffs, feigning a cheesy voice.

“Please, guys. Stop arguing. Think of the babies,” the doctor says, trying to calm them down.

“You think I’m your butler? I’m going to need my back scratched too…”

“Yeah, right … You know what? Let me save you the trouble. I’m going to spend the rest of my pregnancy at my mother’s!”

The doctor, seeing that there’s no convincing them to act civilized, sneaks out of her office while the two continue to fight.

(Some time later)

“Wait. Where’s the doctor?” she asks.

“I think she’s gone.”

“Really? That’s obvious! But how is it she left without saying goodbye? I’m sure she’s gone because of you! Why can’t you keep your mouth shut? Seriously, Danny, I need a break from hearing you.”

“Lucy, look. I think I’m pregnant too.”

“What?? What are you doing with the doctor’s thingy?”

“Look at the screen. That must be the umbrellistical cord the doctor talked about,” he says, moving the scanner over his belly.

“Those are your guts, you silly …”

“Are you sure? And what is that thing that looks like a tiny hand?” he says, pointing at the screen.

She leans over the screen to get a better look. “Oh, my God, it’s true! It’s a hand! But, that’s not possible!!”

“There’s no way around it, Lucy. We’re having triplets.”