When two of my friends — who happen to be twins — decided to move to Sweden, I asked one of them:
"Do you know Swedish?"
"No, I don't," he replied. "My bro's learning it."
"Are you going to learn it?"
"There's no need. Everybody knows English there."
"Even the cashiers in grocery stores?"
"Even the cashiers."
I asked them about it again two years later. One of the twins is actively learning the language and using it at work, and the other one isn't — English is enough for him in both his professional career and personal relationships.
There are countries where English is so widespread that you can't help but wonder if there's any point in learning their language. If you plan to move there, then there probably is. You'd want to integrate into their society as well as possible. But what if you just plan to visit as a tourist?
I've heard lots of stories online about people trying to practice their language with locals, but they shut them off by replying in English. Some people might rudely say that they don't understand you. I've heard that about Germans, for example — they'd just refuse to speak German with you. And it makes sense for them — their English is probably better than your German. But imagine the disappointment! You spend years learning the language, expecting a fulfilling experience from having a casual chat — and then you hit a brick wall.
On the other hand, if you go to a country where English isn't so widespread, you might encounter another problem; people there have so little opportunity to practice their English that they'll jump at any chance to use it. It would suck to spend the money to travel somewhere with the goal of speaking with the locals in their native language in mind, only to find yourself speaking English with everyone. But at the end of the day, they're not obligated to be your free language tutors, but neither are you!
Depending on the country, native speakers tend to react to people learning their language differently. The Japanese consider their language very hard, and rightfully so — they'll say, "Your Japanese is so good!" as soon as you say "konnichiwa" even with a broken accent. The French love their language and don't want to hear you butcher it. Russians will be surprised and confused. They'll ask you, "Why? Why did you decide to learn Russian of all things?" Of course, all of the above are just stereotypes, and you might have a different experience, but I don't think stereotypes come out of nowhere.
If you're choosing a language with the goal of having conversations with native speakers, those are the things you should really consider. Would you really have the opportunity to use the language you chose to learn? Otherwise, you'll be wasting a lot of time only to meet with a world of disappointment.
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I shared this post with my friend — the one who isn't learning Swedish, to check if my memory didn't deceive me and if anything changed since the last time we discussed that. Here's what he has to add.
About his life without Swedish:
Well, I can’t watch movies in a theater without knowing the local language :) But in general, it's true
So, are you learning the language now? Or do you just not go to the movies?
I go only to movies which are originally in English. But there could be problems anyway. For example in Dune 2, when they speak the “local” language, the subtitles are in Swedish, so I had to ask my Swedish friend to translate those parts for me 😄
About my post:
It’s true. In Sweden, there's a joke: the hardest part of learning Swedish is finding someone who's willing to talk to you in Swedish. As soon as Swedes hear you aren't fluent, they don't want you to feel uncomfortable and switch to English immediately.
So true! If I'd been given this advice 11 years ago, I never would've picked Russian. There's nothing more frustrating than choosing a difficult language, learning it and then having everyone address you in English. Live and learn!
On another note, this was very well written! I love the points you made and how you made them. Masterful use of the English language!
@CocoPop As you probably figured out, your experience is what made me write this post. The message you sent me was really heartbreaking.
I figured as much :) You presented it beautifully! I recently spoke to a Russian girl (in English of course!) who had a similar experience. She moved to Holland for six months to practice her Dutch and actually went into a depression because nobody would speak to her in Dutch. As soon as they heard her accent, they'd switch to English.
I've more or less resigned myself to the fact that I'll only read and write Russian, which is sad because I'm really chatty and friendly. But it is what it is! 😵💫
On the subject of this post, if anyone is having a hard time finding someone to speak to in American English, please let me know. I'll be happy to have zoom sessions with anyone who wants to practice spoken English. I'm currently working with Norbs on his pronunciation, and it's going really well. I don't work with (absolute) beginners because I don't want to teach basic English, but intermediate and advanced students who want to chat regularly with someone who will listen and correct them are welcome to contact me.
This post (or better to say essay?) was really well-structured. So coherent and at the same time not dry and academic, but natural, with vivid examples. Super!
I think the reason one chooses to learn a language is important. Once you have a solid reason, minor discouragements like some locals not wanting to practice with you would not affect you too much. When you are able to hold a decent conversation with native speakers, they are more likely to talk with you in their local language. From the native speaker's perspective, it is HARD to communicate with someone who is still in the early stages of learning the language. From my own experience doing language exchange and helping my partner with my local language, I can totally understand why some people prefer to just speak English. I think what's important is to always go back to the why of learning the language, despite encountering some disappointments here and there.
@Jam_ "Once you have a solid reason, minor discouragements like some locals not wanting to practice with you would not affect you too much".
I don't agree that this is a "minor discouragement". It's downright frustrating and even heartbreaking. But like BalaGi said, it comes down to the culture you're dealing with; some are willing to be patient and encourage someone trying to speak their language while others immediately turn them off and switch to English. And it's not just locals in a city — it's also native speakers you encounter online who you want to practice with but they keep speaking English. Another problem is speaking to someone in their language and they don't correct your mistakes — they just listen and smile or nod. You might as well be talking to the wall.
@Dora_Serge I agree! It's so natural and such a refreshing departure from the usual Wikipedia articles you read on here 👍🏻🤩 By the way, it's a post.
@CocoPop Yes when I was learning French a few years ago I met with the discouragement of locals not wanting to communicate with me in French. It simply was because my French was super broken and them being clerks/service providers just wanting to proceed with their tasks quickly. Of course I totally understand you don't view this as "minor discouragement" we all feel differently towards this, I wasn't trying to suggest that everyone should feel the same. It was more of what I learned from my experience that if your goal of learning a certain language is to use it at work/get a better job etc. you can remind yourself of your original goal. You might not be as affected by native speakers, who are not necessarily trained in helping non-native speakers to practice in their language, when you are shut down from trying to have a conversation, simply because having random conversations with strangers is not your ultimate goal. With this mindset I feel happier learning a language and getting feedback and outcome in the right communities (language lesson, language exchange or Journaly for example). Sorry if my wording offends you or anyone, I understand we all just want to have a generally positive experience learning a language, and it's frustrating when it doesn't happen the way we want. I just wanted to bring out another perspective that native speakers are not obligated to practice with language learners because they have jobs to do/are not tutors/ are simply not nice or patient enough. I think such is life and am grateful that people like you are actively trying to help the language learning community overcome hardships etc. mentioned in this post. I do think that the language learning community is generally very positive, so once you step out of this comfort zone, you can easily encounter people who don't appreciate or don't even care that you are learning their language.
@Jam_ Well said.
I expanded the post with a few things my friend said.
@Jam_ I agree with what you said about reasons. If you have a goal in mind, if a language for you is just a tool, merely a stepping stone in your career — a minor setback will not matter to you. So my post is more about language learning as a hobby.
@BalaGi Yes I definitely think that language learning as a hobby can be challenging with the situations you mentioned. Again sorry if my wording offends you or anyone, I wasn't trying to start an argument or invalidate anyone's feelings or experiences. Everyone thinks and feels differently, and I respect that. I guess I was unintentionally being a party pooper with my inconsiderate wording. My intention was merely to interact with you as I think you wrote a thoughtful post and to share an alternative mindset that has helped me in my language learning journey. I think while we all share some collective experiences while learning languages, ultimately we are different people coming from diverse backgrounds, we are able to contribute different viewpoints on different matters, and that's what makes learning languages and cultures so interesting. Cheers and happy learning.
@Jam_ No worries! I don't think you have anything to apologize for!
Loved the article, thanks @BalaGi, really got me thinking. I get a lot of speaking practice with my Russian because I use https://www.conversationexchange.com (sorry hope I'm not breaking the rules about promotion). It's on desktop, free and there are thousands upon thousands of people on there. I've met some amazing folks on there, who have become my friends. However, when I first started out, it was awful. People would despair with me because I knew a few words and stammered. Now I babble like a five-year-old and you can't shut me up. I have a process, 30 mins in Russian and then 30 mins in English. It's taken a while to build the skill and confidence to have a quality exchange, but it comes with time. One day I hope to go to Russia and find my roots, my grandfather's kin who are spread across Russia, Ukraine and Poland. That will be a whole different ball game! 🤣
@Little_Louis Thanks for sharing! I think we all are anxious before trying to speak for the first time (I know I am), and as Jam said, a language learning community is generally very kind and patient. You have to start speaking one day — you can only prepare so much! I'm glad that it worked out for you!