Honestly speaking Im feeling not so well today. There is some difficult situation, that already contienues for years. I have been thinking about it and have realised that there is nothing that I can do to stop it. Maybe nothing to do about this situation is even better decision than doing something about it, I don't know. It is dangerous to do something about it, it is also dangerous not to do something about it. I will continue living and doing my own things and if the situation will go out of control ( but now the situation is also not under the control) and something happens to me,then it means that it has to happen, anyway I can't do anything about it to change it. I am not sure how to translate it in English, but there is a proverb in Russian that sounds " Делай, то что должно и будь, что будет". It means that you have to continue doing things and living and not trying to think a lot about what is going to happen and when something happens, it means that it has to happen and you can't do anything about it. It is depressing, but it is also somehow relieving. I can't think about a better decision. I tried to ask for help but it lt led to nothing and even made the situation worse. I turned to one of my relatives for a help, but she decided to do so as if she knew nothing about the situation, but I am sure she knew about the situation that happened to me because I heard her speaking about it with another person. Even thougth I didn't ask about too much, I just ask her to help me to tell the story to another person who could help me, but she didn't answer me. ( it sounds strange,but I needed to do so) I got in return only silence. Anyway I see now no way out of this situation, other than to continue living and doing things that I should do, even though it is difficult and makes my life pretty stressful and depressing, but it is also a relief and a hope in this attitude " Just continue living and trying not to think about what is going happen".