Is it possible to not have any expectations for anything? I think it's nearly impossible to have absolutely no expectations in every aspect of life. It's human nature, we have desires, preferences, and anticipations. Most of the time expectations lead to disappointment and frustration. As Sylvia Plath once said, "If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed."
Some people can manage their expectations well; others can't, or at least try.
In my case, I'm aware of my expectations, but I often lower them for the little things to lessen the disappointment. However, I still feel disappointed or frustrated. I know I can feel that way because these feelings are still valid. But I just try not to let them drain my energy too much, I'd say.
Nowadays, when I feel that way, I allow myself to rest and feel what I feel. I just let them out. However, I keep myself mindful and grounded by watching or reading about what I've experienced and felt. My last ritual is sleeping or taking a nap. Then after that, I feel much better.
Well, it may not be realistic to get rid of the expectations, but we could try to be flexible, open-minded, and aware, and I think it's good to examine the reason or what causes us to feel that way, so by that, we can choose to adjust or let them go. This way we can be more accepting.
Easier said than done. At least we try.
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There was a time were I thought I reached the point of having no expectations. But then when I really reflected on it, and thought hard about it, I discovered that rather than no expectation, I just had low expectations. I realised that I expected little to nothing from a lot of people, which is still technically an expectation.
I'd love to hear more about what initially led you to believe that you had no expectations. Additionally, what made you realize that having low expectations was still a form of expectation? If you don't mind, I'm also curious to know if you have any insights on how to effectively manage to have low expectations.
@Mars I had read that expectations lead to disappointment, and so, conscious of that, I think I somehow made an active effort not to allow myself to form/hold expectations. It was not that I realised low expectations are still a form of expectation. It was that I realised I did have expectations, it just happened to be that the expectations I held were typically low ones, or very little. I had an idea of the possibility that things would unfold in ways that were somewhat... ´undesirable´ to me. For example, I may think it is quite likely that: my trust will be betrayed, or that a person will be late, or the worst outcome may occur from a situation, etc. So then, when that does occur, it´s no surprise. And when other than that occurs, I may find myself pleasantly surprised/appreciative. I think, if it is at all possible to have zero expectations of something, that thing would be something you have no prior experience of. For anything that we do have any level of experience of, we anticipate possible outcomes.
I think that the awareness of the fact that feeling disappointed or frustrated is the result of experiencing unmet expectations, helps us to better manage those emotions. When we feel disappointed or frustrated, we can ask ourselves, why? How did we get here? What expectations did we hold? We can reflect on the expectations we held and recognise that the emotional experience we are having is the result of this unmet expectation. In my experience, this process alone facilitates the swift passing of the emotional state.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It means a lot to me! I completely agree that being aware of our expectations and understanding our emotions is helpful. I still have room to practice this myself.