Mental torture chamber
English

Mental torture chamber

by

daily life

God, today has been a nightmare.

While working, my mind started an endless cycle of negative thoughts, it's a combination of overthinking with feeling completely worthless. My mind keeps focusing on my weaknesses, and my defects, even though they're small, and completely disregards my qualities. In this headspace, I feel weak, immature, fearful, suicidal, and so on.

The key is: not feeling worthy...

  • Not worthy of connection.
  • Not worthy of self-respect.
  • Not worthy of authenticity.

And because I'm not as authentic as I would like, other peoples' opinions can feed up this devil's voice, because sometimes people say some hurtful things I resonate with, and then my brain uses those hurtful words when I'm in this vulnerable headspace.

On the other hand, I have my positive self-talk to back me up, my angel voice. This voice likes to say:

  • You are worthy! There is no requirement for worthiness, you don't need to hustle for it.
  • You are driven as hell.
  • You've been through worst things before, survived, and got much stronger.
  • This suffering will end eventually, stay hard!
  • Everybody has things to work on, nobody is perfect.
  • Take a breath, you will get through this!

Headline image by othentikisra on Unsplash

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