In Japan, we start the new term in April. My son turned second grade in elementary school, and he just finished the first week. It was a tough week for both him and me.

My son gets always grumpy when he's tired or sleepy. Maybe he was tired after school. I had to cope with his tons of grumbles and complains in the evening. He was irritated at every small things and that pissed me off.

I told him that he'd better to decide the routine of after school. He wrote his idea on the blackboad. It worked when he was in the first grade, but not this time. He was still too lazy to put away his backpack or do homework after school. He just lied and rolled on the floor, or tease his baby brother. Of course I couldn't be a "gentle mummy" and thundered at him!

We cried. Yes, both of us cried.

Yesterday we had a strategy meeting again. I asked him three questions and wrote them down on paper; what is your ideal self as a second grader? What prevents you from being that? And what can you do to cope with those problems?

He enjoyed thinking about it.

I made a poster by putting those three paper together, and put it on the door of his room. Now he's motivated to be an ideal self. Maybe last time he just listed up what "I" expected. This time he could set his goal by himself. I hope it will work next time!!

I also need to make this three steps card. I think this method can help us in many situations.

(1) What is your ideal self?

(2) What prevents you from being that?

(3) What can you do to overcome the problems?