Recently, when I was discovering different types of personalities and attachment styles, my attention was grabbed by the video about narcissism. I knew only a little about it at that time. I even thought that narcissism is just another type of personality but as it turned out, it's a personality disorder. I was curious about it just because I wanted to assure myself that I'm not a narcissist. Long story short, I'm definitely not, but by the way, I learned an insightful knowledge about this disorder and I'm capable of finding out whether any of my peers, friends, or family members are one. No one wants to have narcissistic friends, let alone be in a relationship with this type of person, so I wanted to share a couple of tips that can help you quickly assess a person, even at the very first meeting.

First of all, narcissists are devoided of empathy. They can't feel what other people feel, they can't see others' perspectives. They're inconsiderate and care only for what important to them. But be careful, they might seem like they really do care for you as they're masters of manipulation. They're capable of persuading you to think what they want you to think. They can put you in the right mindset before they'll reveal their real intention and take advantage of you, or get what they were truly interested in from the very beginning.

Another huge feature of narcissists is their inflated egos. In their minds you're less important than them, you're just a toy that sooner or later will be exploited and left. They put themselves on a pedestal and want to be admired by other people. They think they should be treated in a special way just because. They crave your attention and become angry if they don't get it.

The next huge thing you should pay attention to is how they treat people that serve them, e.g., waitresses at the restaurant. They tend to make a fuss, complain, and nitpick. They're very fastidious and never satisfied enough. They demand the best possible service like they're the most important customers. If you're in a relationship with a narcissist you might feel good because of that at the beginning as it's nice to be around them while others are trying to please them, but it's only temporary. At some point, you'll become their servant and you'll be mistreated.

The last trait I wanted to point out is the way narcissists react to any kind of criticism. This is another showcase of their great manipulation. Try to admonish them or express your dissatisfaction about what they did or said and they'll turn it against you in a blink of an eye. They'll often say that you exaggerate or you're oversensitive in the effort to downplay the problem and make you feel guilty for bringing it up. They never admit they're wrong, it's always someone else fault and they always have a clever excuse to save their faces.

I could summarize the post with just one simple piece of advice - run away if you meet a person who shows any of the traits I mentioned. Even though narcissism is a disease it's not your responsibility to pull anyone out of this. Fixing personality problems, very much like addictions, requires the person to see the problem in the first place. In many cases, before that happens the person needs to hit rock bottom, so you better back away before it's too late.