This is my first post on this platform and I'd wish it were happier.
I am a Spanish native speaker but I've been journaling exclusively in English for a while because I don't want anyone at home to discover my diary and be actually capable to understand what I've written...
I already journaled today as I regularly do but I'm still feeling very very low. I've been going through a chronic depression since ever. I've been on medications in the past but didn't really make any difference. Instead, psychotherapy has been a relief but last night's session was very tough. I'm a Civil Engineer, 30, but been unemployed for several years. I started a Master's degree but was incapable of finishing it. I can't afford a living. My psychotherapist is giving me the sessions at a very low fare so I can continue with them and that makes me kinda sad. I live with my mother, sister and her children and life at home gets easily difficult. We are living in Africa and we are currently in irregular status, from a migration point of view. Jobs are difficult these days in the part of the world, especially because of COVID. I want to relocate but have no means to do it. I am feeling hopeless. This entry is neither helping. I hope I won't regret for publishing this, but none of my relatives nor friends will ever understand why I'm so depressed. My current situation is a consequence, not the reason why. They simply judge.
I'm really sorry that you're going through a rough time, veesitao. I do hope the journaling helps and that your psychotherapy sessions go better from now on. It's a tough time for everyone right now and it can be difficult to see the good in the world, what with the current state of things being what they are.
I'm not a psychologist, but I do have chronic depression myself and the worst of it hit when I was doing a masters, too (grad school is tough!). What helped me was exercising a lot (running, soccer, whatever gets you moving), and talking to people about how I was feeling. I don't know if it will help you, but maybe going for a walk outside in the fresh air (while staying far enough away from others, of course, thanks to covid) will help.
There is good in the world. Including the fact that you're here, you're expressing yourself--and very well, I might add, in another language. Because of your post you've begun to connect with other people all over the world, including this person on another continent who is now thinking of you and wishing you all the best.
I agree with @pithyquibbles. veesitao, I hope you get better. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now but I can tell you that I wish you the best. I'm also on another continent wishing you hope, and wishing things get better for you. <3
Hey there! I'm sorry about your current situation... a lot of people are going through hard times right now, and it's a bit frustrating because there's little I can do. However, if you ever feel in need you can write to me. My situation is very different from yours, but I've found some comfort in God, not in religion, but in a personal relationship with God. I don't know if you're interested, but in case you are, here is a video that might help https://youtu.be/XgOn3ARc4u4. Wish you the best of luck!
Everything will pass, I hope you'll get better soon. I know sometimes when you are depressed you do not want to see anyone or talk to people, but loneliness can make it worse, so probably you can try to explain your situation to your relatives, friends or find new friends here.
Hi there That was a very emotional and sincere post and the fact that wrote it shows great strength. I hope you can, at least, take pride in that.
I also hope that you know that you are not alone in this. Everybody (even your friends and relatives) feel lonely and sad sometimes. I'm not writing this to diminish your feelings, not at all. I want to express the idea that the main reason that others have a hard time relating to your depression is the fear that sadness and loneliness is around the corner for them as well.
Finally, I think that the fact that your therapist gave you a discount should not be a reason for embarrassment or sadness. Although it can be difficult to accept help, there is something beautiful about allowing someone else to help you and feel so generous. In that sense, and many others, you are also helping him/her.