The last time I was on a flight, the service was exceptionally brutal. The food was disgusting and the flight attendant was doing the worst job ever. The airline hostess didn’t smile and constantly ignored my requests. I asked her politely to bring me another bottle of beer, but she said that I had already had two and that was enough. I said that I thought we had limitless drinks on this flight.

She said with her very irritating voice, “That’s true, sir. But we have a right to cut passengers off if they’ve had too much alcohol.”

I said, “I haven’t had too much alcohol. I’ve had two beers. That’s it.”

She said, “Well, I think that’s more than enough.”

I said, “Who are you to judge? Two beers are nothing. You’re just abusing your power.”

Then she had the audacity to say that I had a bad attitude.

I gave up. I said, “Well, then, bring me a scotch on the rocks.”