Yesterday afternoon I went to a job interview. This interview was the worst experience of my life.
For some reason I put in my résumé that I can speak English, but it was a total lie. The job had nothing to do with English, so I decided that some knowledge of the foreign language would make me more well-rounded. I didn’t think at that moment that the interview would be in English.
It turned out that the guy who conducted the interview had lived in New York for twelve years. His English was great. The very first question he asked was in English, which I obviously didn’t understand.
Suddenly, I felt nauseous. I had absolutely no idea what to do, so I just said in Russian, “Hey, your English is pretty good!”
He said, “Thanks, but what about yours? Here it says that you speak it too.”
I replied, “What can I say.”
He shook his head and said, “Get the hell out of here!”
Wow, Roman, that was really good. 95% of that post could've been written by a native English speaker! Excellent work)))
Which is quite in contradiction to the content of the text! If the story is true, that man is an asshole. Normally something like this is announced previously, so you can mentally prepare for it. Testing spontaneous reactions is at times ok, but this goes beyond what's for me reasonable or even acceptable. Be glad you don't have to work there.
The main takeaway here is to (1) always use a comma before so when it means поэтому; (2) never use a comma before that meaning что; (3) when the context is the past, use would instead of will.
That guy was definitely a dick on wheels and a showoff!
I've taken this story from podcast China232.com. Two Canadian guys wrote it. I've just translated it into Russian, then back from Russian into English.
It is just a story and I think it isn't serious.
You're writing is good so far. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say you have a basic, intermediary, or advanced skill in writing English. Therefore, you're not lying and it may still be an advantage to you if the job requires lots of written communication in English. Also, during the interview, be honest and say that you would like to improve your English on the job.
Oh, ok. I believe almost everything at times :'D. It could help if you'd add a tag like "fiction" or so...
I didn't think about it Eduard. I was sure that everybody would understand this story as a joke.
Thank you for advice William.
I wouldn't call this a "joke". As far as I can tell, people use Journaly to write mostly true stories or obviously fictional ones. Yours is neither, so well.
Ok, I'll add that this story is fictional.
I thought this happened to you, too 😂
But even if people think it happened to you, it's not the end of the world 😅
I think I am not able to do what this fictional guy did. :)
hahahahaha [*I don't think I'd be able... 👍🏻]
And, by the way, Uli, why do you think that this story couldn've been written by a native English speaker? (Почему это история не могла быть написана англичанином или американцем?) Or, may be I didn't understand you.
That's another way of saying that you write like a native speaker: reading it, you'd believe that it was written by a native English speaker = it could've been written by a native English speaker.
Oh, "n" in "couldn've" just a mistake.
And thank you for "would". :)
Anytime))